Dear Miss Manners, Addy, Ootz-li Gootz-li love life advice please
Respectfully yours, Bonjour de coeur
I met a man starry eyed as Peter Parker. When I was an art model in New York and asked to pose by the Society of Illustrators, there he was to draw and photograph me, and later he said he wished to make of my beauty and figure something immortal. A pick up artist? Possibly.
He was like a composite sketch of wanted men I had never been able to date per se, or love or watch over. We could never be together, was the way the story went and went.
Once without my knowledge or consent he snapped a photo of me when I was naked.
Where on the bad boy scale? A nine. I am sure he got me stalked by every police unit between here to new York because he’s the kind of guy who lights his marijuana up with pyrotechnics. He was using a blowtorch while we were facetiming and even if I wasn’t partaking I’m sure everyone who is stalking me was so impressed they put 10 gigs of spyware on my phone.
Recently, he quit his actual Empire State Bildung blow job gig to ask me to take down the open letter to him I posted on my blog. He has overpromised and underdelivered, repeatedly, as well as exploited my true love for him, my loyalty, and once he invited me to Christmas then reneged. He said he would wife me up in a heartbeat, go down on me a thousand times but never did. Etc etc etc.

It comes up first in google search engine queries with his name. I said he shoulda gone down on me a thousand times if he would have liked me to take down the post.
Here is my open letter to him.
So Addy, Manners, anyone — what should I do?
I’ve got it. If and ONLY IF Jonathan Scott Schneberg goes down on me a thousand times will I take the open letter down, or change the setting to make it unlisted. It is also implied he will not only invite me to Christmas with his family but also make sure I will have plenty of gifts under the tree.
End Point
Finally, some relief from this seemingly endless emasculation suffered at the hands of certain men (note: ‘men’ means more than one man, not ‘all men’). They make you lose your confidence, exploit your vulnerabilities, treat you like shit. When you love them or feel desire, they go cold. Players only love you when they’re playing.

I started sending Stephen Colbert memes then blocked his asshole. If you don’t laugh, you cry, as they say.
