How Rape Takes Away Fundamental Rights

I have thought a lot about the aftermath of being raped my senior year of college. I realized that it was the most “in my back” thing that has ever happened to me, meaning that it basically took away all of my rights.

1. I would always be put on trial despite the fact that it was my innocence that was violated.
2. Any time I have sex it is killed by the fact that it could be used against me in a court of law.
3. Therefore sex is a rape trigger, as is any aspect of my sexuality, because in the context of being the survivor of sexual violence all of it is scrutinized as a way to discredit me.
4. Not only was it was innocence that was violently taken from me, but the fact of being identified as a survivor of sexual violence in fact hypersexualizes a person.
5. What the fuck!
6. Rape, as so many extremely violent trespasses, is so humiliating that you NEVER want to talk about it.
7. Your voice. Is taken away. When you are raped.
8. Your authority over your own experience is questioned in subtle and inconceivable ways a million times over.
9. You are scared to go outside.
10. You are scared to live at all.
11. The rapist was confident he could get away with his crime, so he will do whatever it takes to maintain that confidence.
12. People will call you a “victim,” which means they will never stand up for you. I have never been in the habit of calling myself a victim (who would), but friends, family, guys I meet are so eager to label me a victim and blame me for it.
13. As if being violated were not a big enough blow, the guy who raped me meddled in my love life and confiscated friendships, jumping at every opportunity to destroy my life.
14. When you are a survivor of violence, PTSD often takes away your ability to really function in any environment as does the fact that the rapist has effectively eliminated your value as a human being in the eyes of so many.
15. Your ability to make a living is threatened, because you are reliving the domino effect of someone taking away your value as a human being. It’s really shitty, but there are so many valences to the stigma of being a survivor of sexual violence. You are broken. This rape victim is an eligible bachelorette said no one ever. You are seen as damaged goods and everyone drops you.