How’s your average?
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
I took this quote to heart and wanted to find a way to apply this principle in my life. I started by writing down the 5 individuals I believe I spend the most time with. I soon realized, putting the people I chose to spend my time with and the ones I ended up spending my time with were two very different category of people. How do I compare my son to my mom, or even a friend or even further removed a co-worker.
This didn’t really leave me with anything practical to find what I averaged out to. Then again, I know I wasn’t happy with my average, hence why I read all the medium articles on self empowerment. I wanted to create an exercise to find the 5 people I should be spending my time with, to boost my average.
I’m a bit math minded, I’m comfortable with numbers, graphs, statistics, you catch my drift. So I came up with the following method for helping me and hopefully you, find those 5 individuals.
- List everyone you regularly speak with on a weekly basis. Why weekly? It seems to be the most regimental cycle we base our lives around. M-F and thank god for the weekend…REPEAT! This list includes family you live with, friends you hang out with, speak on the phone with (fine text with) and people you work with. (If you see a ‘shrink’, throw them in as well).
- Arrange them down a column, then put a column next to them that indicates how they make you feel, in general: (G)ood, (B)ad and (N)eutral.
- Add a third column where you will indicate whether you (T)rust this person or not (X).
- Now the test…muahahaha. Only one answer per column, NO in between or a little of both responses.
- Circle the names of the individuals for which you answered, (G) and (T). My example below:
You may not end up with 5 and I’m sorry, but you shouldn’t be, find the extra ones you are missing and boost your average. Some may end up with more than 5, bless you and keep connected to those individuals.
The point was to have a hard look at the people around you and understand who contributes to your best average. Continue to improve from there and keep connected with those that do make you feel good about yourself (even when they are critical) and you trust.
On the flip side, how do you think you effect the ones that would put you on their list?