死の価格
Been meaning to write something since the beginning of this week but never really got down to it. Instagram stories and Instagram just doesn’t cut it nowadays. It’s just so different from before.
Instagram has sort of become a personal gallery and portfolio. It doesn’t express one’s true emotions and thoughts. In fact, most of it are curated now. Making it like the Tumblr now instead of the old Tumblr before it got mainstream.
Ah well, Nothing we all can do about that yeah, with social media becoming the mainstream media now.
I’ve caught some virus, got a flu and almost coughed out my lungs a few days ago. But all’s good now.
Can’t really recall what actually transpired for me to want to pen down my thoughts at this moment but I shall try.
Have been wanting to be productive and learn something new, be it reading, or my Japanese. And I’ve been stagnant for a period of time to be honest.
Not sure if I’ve mentioned, but I am the kind where I constantly need something new to trigger my brain cells.
Oh yes, that reminds me, I read about Japan’s family culture on a blog written by some NUS students, most likely for their research purpose. But it is still interesting none the less and really got me thinking for abit.
If anyone is interested, the link is below: http://blog.nus.edu.sg/js2222u0900641/
It intrigues me what exactly are the thoughts these people are having when they decided to do all these (心中、murder of/by offspring)
I was also surprised that whatever I’ve watched on Japanese Dramas actually transpires in real life as well. I used to think that my family background could actually be scripts for some soap drama.
It didn’t occurred to me that somewhere out there, even in my favourite country, things that are much worse are happening.
If you are at your worse. Being in the knowledge that you are the worst off the lot, kind of makes you feel good in a way, like how you’re the best of the best. But feeding off this thought is harmful, in fact, sympathy makes it harder for the person to actually get back on their feet. Empowerment should be what people should be doing to someone in need, but I guess it’s a story for another day.
And as I was saying, Instagram. A platform where people used to express their own form of art is now the new mainstream media to get information.
It surprises me sometimes how I would actually step back and think about how things occur and the reason for it instead of being hot headed and dive straight into whatever emotions I felt. (Yeah be proud of me, my past 5 year self)
Sometimes I find myself being on neutral grounds too often it makes me feel like I am indecisive. Despite just calling out on Instagram for being curated advertising, I can’t help but to feel these (okay some) curated posts are actually art in their own form?
With all the new media art form/styles these days, it actually takes a lot of effort and knowledge to pull off some stuff. It’s not impressive. But it certainly requires passion to learn. I guess it can be considered a form of craft?
I am sorry that my post deviates from what I originally intended to write about. Lol, my brain does quantum leap very often.
Ah yes, this morning after accompanying my father to the police station to make a report about his car accident. When we parted, I suddenly felt this wave of emotion which I am unable to put in words. I got really upset, worried and then finally to a state of exhaustion despite having just woke.
Not sure if it’s a psychological thingy or my PMS since boy told me it might be my PTSD at work.
I felt guilty for not being there for him, yet at the same time upset at the fact that I wasn’t notify of the incident until the entire ordeal was already over. It felt like I was insignificant, unimportant. I understand and know very well the fact that I should act upon it and accompany them back or spend some more time with them but a part of me just felt really unjust and apathetic. I was battling these emotional see-saw and wasn’t able to verbally express them despite being prompted several time by my boy while we were having lunch.
If you’re reading this, Sorry baby, and thank you.
I apologize in advance to anyone for not relay information in my head via words verbally to you. Sometimes I find a lack of words to fit my current state of emotion, or for some reason, I just don’t feel like talking. It’s a bad habit I know, hopefully I’ll get over it soon.
