The lady with the boxer

I have been living in my current place for over a year now. It is a big newly built apartment complex with a top-notch management team. The amenities are new and luxurious. The unit I moved into was brand new. So one would expect a higher rent and a different demographics than those old apartments in the city. People who live here are mostly young professionals. I do see some seniors at monthly resident events. Just like other new rental properties, this place advertises itself as pet-friendly. As long as your pet is not on their restricted breeds list, you can live with your furry friend happily here with an extra pet rent. This is one of the main reasons I chose this place, since I desperately wanted a golden retriever puppy. Not just any puppy, it has to be a golden retriever.

The first few months I lived here, I did not have a puppy. Everyday after school/work, I went straight into my apartment and did not leave until the next morning. As a result, except for a few friendly smiles in the elevator, I did not know any neighbors. Things totally changed on the day I got Dan-Gao (the name means “cake”), my precious little golden retriever. It was late afternoon when we finally arrived home. After letting her exploring her new home for a bit and feeding her dinner, I took her out for a potty break. It was near dusk. Several dog owners from my building were chatting outside. When they saw me with Dan-Gao, everyone became very excited and cried “Puppy!” That was how I made friends with neighbors for the first time. During the next few weeks, I met most dog owners in the building, because Dan-Gao was on her puppy schedule, which means my husband and I needed to walk her every 2 hours. Dan-Gao also made new friends: a black lab, a yellow lab, a fully grown golden retriever, a little Pomeranian, a husky, an adult dalmatian, and a dalmatian puppy who is only 3 weeks younger than Dan-Gao.

Everyone was nice and their dogs all showed great interest in Dan-Gao. Thanks to them, Dan-Gao had enough socialization in her puppyhood. There is a lady with a boxer on my floor. Her name is Mary. She is in her 50s-60s. She was quite fond of Dan-Gao the first time we met in the hallway. The second time I saw her was in the elevator. I was alone and her boxer was by her side. I greeted her and said “hi” to her boxer in a high-pitched voice, like the tone people would use if they see any cute babies, puppies, or kittens. Then she said to me, like she was annoyed: “You don’t know much about dogs, do you?” I was a little surprised, and said: “I do have a puppy.” However she continued in the same tone: “But you don’t know much about dogs.” I did not know what to answer at that moment. I soon let it go because she showed fondness of my puppy the next few times we met. She was constantly surprised by how fast Dan-Gao grew, and behaved quite patient when Dan-Gao tried to jump on her like any puppy would do. We knew that Dan-Gao had to stop the jumping before she got too big. And every dog owner friend understood and helped us by saying “no” to Dan-Gao when she tried to jump.

One day, the fire alarm in the building went off. No human was happy about it but dogs were. With everyone came outside with their dogs, Dan-Gao was totally enjoying the extra play time. She was playing with the husky. Michelle, the girl who owns the husky, is also a graduate student, and is super nice. We were talking while the dogs were nibbling each other’s ears. Then she saw Mary at distance. She said: “Do you know that lady with the boxer? She is the meanest lady I ever know.” Michelle’s mother was walking the husky and met Mary who was also walking her dog. The husky must have tried to play with Mary’s boxer. But the husky was young and playful. Mary must have not liked how the husky approached her and got in an argument with Michelle’s mom. Michelle told me that Mary said her mom was “no better than a dog,” which was incredibly rude. Then I remembered that incidence in the elevator and said Mary was a little cranky. But I added that she was nice to my dog. Michelle was surprised and said Mary never liked her husky. I thought it must have been a misunderstanding between Mary and Michelle’s mom.

A few months later on a Friday afternoon, I just finished bathing Dan-Gao in the pet spa room. I saw Michelle and the husky right outside. So we started chatting and Dan-Gao was being silly around the husky. Then another neighbor joined us. As we were talking happily, Mary was walking towards us. She was on her way back after walking the boxer. She apparently saw both the husky and Dan-Gao. My guess was that she wanted go straight back but the boxer wanted to play and dragged her to us. The husky was already excited from playing with Dan-Gao. Now he saw the boxer approaching and got even more excited and was ready to jump toward the boxer. Not surprisingly, Mary was annoyed. Michelle, of course, did not want her husky to be near Mary or the boxer given previous encounters. But the more she held back the husky, the more eager the husky was to play with the boxer. As dogs would do in this kind of situation, the husky barked once or twice. Mary became even more annoyed and a little angry. She tried to make a point that her boxer was here to play with Dan-Gao and Michelle should not let her dog behave this way. Michelle was confused and said: “That is how dogs play. The two boys (husky and boxer) are fighting over the girl (Dan-Gao).” Mary became angrier and started to say things that were not very nice. The neighbor who joined us later also could not stand Mary’s attitude and asked Mary to leave: “Why do you say anything if you have nothing nice to say? I think you should just leave.” I did not utter a single word the entire time. I felt bad, because I, or Dan-Gao, was part of the reason this whole argument occurred. Plus it would be worse if I picked sides.

After Mary left, Michelle said she was sorry she had to leave since she was not in a good mood. I totally understood and said goodbye. I hoped that I would not meet Mary on the way back after what just happened. I told myself that it was unlikely to happen because Mary left first. She should be in the elevator by now. Ironically enough, Mary somehow took a detour and I ran into her right in front of the elevator door. I did not know where to look and I secretly hoped that Mary was not in a mood talking to me. Yet she was: “Do you think that girls is rude? Where are her manners? Her mother should have taught her better.” Awkward silence. I answered silently: “Michelle did not do anything wrong. It was you who was rude and unreasonable.” But Dan-Gao, who did not know better, kept trying to reach to the boxer. All I could do in that awful 15 seconds elevator ride was looking on the floor and trying to tell Dan-Gao to sit and stay. It felt like forever.

I did not see Mary for a very long time after that Friday afternoon. I thought maybe she moved out and I never had to deal with her again. But she did not. Fortunately, she acted normal and seemed like that she forgot, or simply did not care about the awkward elevator ride. Then everyone lives harmoniously and happily ever after. Or you think.

My husband and I were taking Dan-Gao with us to go somewhere. Dan-Gao knows that when she is leaving with daddy and mommy together, it usually means dog park. Hence, she was excited. When we were locking the door, Mary was heading to the elevator with her boxer as well. As being an excited dog, Dan-Gao tried to run to Mary. Of course we did not let her. The elevator door opened. There was a facility management personnel. Mary went in first and we followed. Jammed in the small elevator, Dan-Gao was closer to the boxer and hence more excited. She kept trying to play with the boxer or jump up. When the elevator door opened again, I was relieved: I could get Dan-Gao farther away from the boxer so she could calm down. The unbelievable thing happened. Only a few steps behind us, Mary said to the facility management personnel, loudly enough that we could hear: “It’s like that dog has never been trained.” I was astonished and so was my husband. We did not understand how her attitude toward my dog changed overnight. She obviously knew that Dan-Gao is trained. In previous conversations she called Dan-Gao a good dog and implied that the husky behaved like a wild dog.

Ever after that, I tried to avoid Mary the best I could. She wears very heavy perfume. Whenever she passes before my door, the smell of her perfume would last for five minutes in the hallway. By smell I could know if there is a chance she is walking her dog right now. So I could take Dan-Gao to the other side of the building to avoid running into her. Sometimes I feel that I shouldn’t hide from her, as it was not my fault. But more often I am much a social coward to confront any difficult situations. I wonder, what is the best way to deal with it. I do not want arguments. But at the same time, I do not want to feel the need to hide away in my own home, where I pay this much rent.

I am lucky because by the end of the day, no matter how unhappy or stressful the circumstances are, I can cuddle with Dan-Gao and forget it all. People are so complicated and unpredictable. I should buy a shirt with “I’d rather be with my golden retriever” in big font.