Hating and Loving
Who Am I
I want to know more about my self. The darkest me, the brightest me, and everything in between. Not long time ago, stranger said about “my state”. And I dislike it. I dislike him for knowing more about me. I dislike him for naming “my state” with the word I do not want to hear.
I am is who I am yesterday. The one who hate cat for crying over something so loudly. The one who feeling pain and crying. The one who listening to Forever Rain in rainy days. The one who streaming at Youtube and laughing all day. The one who giving surprise and throwing party at my friend’ house.
I am is who I am tomorrow. I still my self who making mistakes, making someone cry, and achieving my dream. Have a thousand branches of idea in my brain, and sometimes I will confuse and lost.
But I know I will survive. I must survive. I still have hopes hanging in my heart. Even though I do not know what will I do for make a living after graduate. Even though I do not know who will marry me in the future. Even though I do not know I will open the heaven door after closing the hell door.
I am still alive, that’s matter most. For I can fix my bad. For I can upgrade my good things.
I am still alive and I have them beside me. For my friend pat my head when I am crying and saying everything gonna be okay. For my family in silent worried about me. For my enemy said you sucks and should doing greater than this.
I am still alive, I have them beside me, because God bless me.
Maybe I don’t really know about my self, I haven’t meet my darkest me and my brightest me. But, let everything flow naturally.
I don’t really know what and why we hate and love something. They are the extremist for the upmost feeling human has.
If hate and love has the same state, I hate my self. I love my self.
I know nothing, but I have something to hold, and it alright. Lets keep the hard work.