Day 185: Daring to embrace impermanence

Impermanence is liberation. Impermanence creates peace.

Today, I am scared, I am worried, I am angst.

I am filled with fear.

I had experienced a challenging circumstance a few months earlier, and I’m scared that history will repeat itself.

I am scared that I don’t have the emotional strength to go through it. I am scared of what it is required of me.

I am scared to be hopeful, I am scared to be cynical, I am scared.

I am filled with fear because of uncertainty, I am filled with fear as the outcome is out of my control.

I am fearful of thinking positive and then being disappointed, I am fearful of ‘being realistic’ and then being disappointed, I am fearful that no matter what I think or do the outcome isn’t what I want it to be.

I find myself crying. I embrace the moment. I allow myself to worry. I allow myself to feel scared, fearful, angst… all of that emotion — I lean into the vulnerability.

I breathe. I remind myself, ‘This too shall pass.’.

Whatever this moment is, and no matter what sadness fills this moment — it is, impermanent.

Impermanence is liberation.

I take deeper breathes and I calm myself down. It was a technique I learnt in Vipassana; to allow the tears to fall, and watch the breathe. You can be upset and be conscious.

Impermanence brings peace.

A week from now, this will not matter. A year from now, this moment will no longer matter.

There is peace in knowing that I have a 100% success rate in working through all my challenges — as I am still here.

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What has been troubling you? How can the acknowledgement of impermanence make a difference?

Give yourself permission to allow and lean into the vulnerability. This takes courage.