THE LAND OF BANANA PEOPLE & SUFFOCATION [2]

[2]
 My apartment was on the penthouse: because the city was beautiful and in case I became bored of myself someday. Her apartment’s building was the second to my right, blue and green glass on every window. My building had sepia colored windows so I had mine removed and replaced with lilac, that way people would have been intrigued by my window and would have thought a mysteriously beautiful person must live there! And while I was beautiful, I was not mysterious. Rather boring. Well, both buildings on my right were a few feet back so I always had a perfect view of their entrances if I leaned against the balcony just enough.
 I never knew which flat she lived in and who her family was because I had never seen her out on any windows that came within my view. I only knew she lived in the second building to my right. I never liked that child. She was ugly and had short hair, I hate children but I liked watching her because no other child could pet a dog with rabies without being bit. I had seen that black dog jump on old women but it seemed to curl up near her feet whenever she returned from school. 
 The dog was shot soon enough. It had rabies for the love of god.

I never sat out in the balcony during noon timings. At noon, my lilac window could see most schools popping out children in uniforms like a ball of bacteria bursting because the temperature suited them. I would instead do other things and wait till it was 3PM. I, then, went out to the balcony with a cup of coffee and sit there. She would come out in an orange dress and play with rocks, constructing little houses for fairies, I suppose. I presumed the houses were for fairies because one night I went over, kept little leaf roofs on the houses and the next day she squealed and hopped then began to run around in circles flapping her skinny arms. I would have thrown a brick at her head if it was not daylight. Once she was done building houses, she would wipe her hands on her dress which had blue and green whatever on it. I hated that dress but I wish I knew what happened to it. She wore it every day until one day it simply disappeared. I used to have a green and white striped shirt that was torn to pieces because I wore it too often.

One day while I was out having a cigarette I saw her leaving the building, dressed up in blue, walking rather fast and it surprised me to see how early the timing was. It was, however, a weekend. 
 ‘Come over!’
 ‘I cannot today.’
 ‘Come over right now.’
 ‘You know I cannot, please wait till someone can drop me.’
 ‘I need you right now.’
 ‘I will try.’
 ‘I will not talk to you for weeks if you do not come over right now.’
 ‘It is hot-‘
 ‘Just be here soon. Bye.’ click

I watched her tiny body cross the road; I watched both sides for her as if I could have helped if a car came along. She stood in front of the tunnel for a few seconds and as I hoped for her to step away, she began to climb the slope made of stones. My lilac window could see for miles, plenty of roads, a laundry shop, a mosque and some other stores but mostly trees. I watched her cross four roads. My green tea became cold because of that ugly puppet, my eyes were on her, I forgot about the tea. Her body glowed in the sun, although it was much too hot for something like that to be out in — without a water bottle, if I remember correctly. I saw her turn left which is when I understood she was headed to her best friend’s house. She was friends with another rat like her who had curly hair. Ugly child and the rat were close friends, I had seen them together many times and they also studied in the same school. She was much skinnier.

She is as alone as I am. No one likes her either, she is my best friend now. I will keep her and she will be mine.

I never quite understood why they were friends; the rat always bossed her around, making her do things like walk in the sun. I do not know what was in that little child’s mind but it must have been something she understood well. I lost her gradually behind one of the buildings but I knew she reached safely.

Sometimes her words hurt but if I leave, we both will have no one to go to or call and gossip with like in the movies.

Sometimes I wanted to call her upstairs. I wanted to prepare tea or coffee for her and feed her biscuits and let her linger in my house, so I would stare really hard when she walked past my building, hoping we made some connection and she would look up. I could have gone downstairs, I should have shouted, I would have left a note near her fairy houses but I I don’t know. I don’t know.
 I never wanted to talk to her; she looked like she never wanted to talk to anyone either. I knew she would not have talked to me so one day I cleaned the apartment and brought two types of juices along with chocolate cupcakes and ginger bread men with pink frosting on them. Everything looked disgusting to me but I had seen her eat such things. I kept a pot of tea on the stove and coffee in a French press. I also opened all the windows so it would not scare her. I hoped and hoped the rat was not at her apartment because I did not want that child lingering around my apartment, possibly breaking my glass ornaments. Once I had completed dreaming about myself preparing the house, cleaning and buying baked items, I returned my sight to the sunset and promised myself of doing it the next day so I could call her over directly from school. 
 The sunlight died and tiny bulbs began to flicker on in the entire city. I could only see the town’s streetlights but I knew the entire city was lit up. I saw her then. I had Hans Zimmer loudly playing the track of some movie from some year on my laptop when I saw her with her family. They were loading a few cartons in the trunk of their car while she was sitting on the marble slab, swinging her glittery boots. I wish my window was not open or if it was so open, I wish she had listened to the music I was playing. She mumbled something to someone and dashed onto the road with so much sparkle in her eyes. I wish I was inside making coffee or getting coffee, I wish the window was closed or I had taken pills that night but I just stood. I watched an olive green Range Rover crash into her, squishing her like an insect and all I could do was stand there in my lilac balcony. If only someone told me they moved away instead of the truth, if someone had told me she shifted schools instead of the truth, but no one could lie to me because I saw it. Well, I moved away soon enough. Not because of her really, I was well I was evicted. My current window is blue and it is the penthouse, in case I get bored, but my only view is a gray mountain.
 If only the violins from my window had made her fucking turn around just once.