oof. thank you, mr. trump

I feel a knot in my chest. I can’t remember ever weeping for America. True there have been moments of great despair and great victory that have invoked substantially tearful moments. But I’ve never wept …like really sobbed deeply for America. This morning, I did! And I’m not an important name in the world of anything ..and my tears are not so important but my point is, the reality that so many Americans are blindly supporting Trump confounds and devastates me to tears. And I am surprised that it did, but it did!

That said, I feel paralyzed by terror this morning and afternoon. I can’t focus on my work… I feel a real palpable fear and anxiety pulsing inside. The kind of fear that sits, you know, right in the middle of your chest — maybe right before an interview? Right before going on stage? As you await the results of a life-changing test? I only list these random few examples because my point is I FEEL THIS FEAR. It has physically manifested in my body and I’ve NEVER felt these things about a presidential election. And this is a new phenomenon to me to a point where it continues to surprise me..cuz it hasn’t left yet..even as I write this…

Who am I that this article may ever be read or regarded? But the anxiety has compelled me to write my thoughts anyway.

Donald Trump has been a huge source of comic ridiculousness over the years. Who doesn’t love that?! A wealthy, myopic, stubborn man declaring his [ever-fluctuating] truths all over the place is a sight to see. But until recent months, he had no REAL role in my life. And… probably that is entirely untrue! I don’t know the exact impact his existence has had on the economy that I also inhabit. But as far as I knew, he could be ridiculous on his shows and in his many confusingly popular business pursuits over there — and I will be over here. Everything was whatever.

But now, he has a real death grip on America — on a HUGE portion of the American people. Things like “spikes on Google’s search results of how to move to Canada,” chrome extensions on changing occurrences of Trump to ‘Drumpf,’ and endless articles and videos of minorities being physically and verbally diminished at his instruction FLOOD my Facebook feed..and everywhere else. Comparisons of Trump’s likeness to Hitler exist. Trump’s supporters admitting happily to agree with Hitler’s sentiments if they are spoken/endorsed by Trump are REAL.

What is happening?! EDUCATED, thoughtful people are aligning with Trump’s views when they can blatantly see his inconsistencies. WHAT IS HAPPENING! For too long, I thought Trump’s go at becoming president was supremely entertaining because of COURSE no one will respond positively but then it became a horrifyingly real possibility yesterday. And for this brutal wake up call, I want to thank Mr. Trump. UNTIL this moment in history, I am ashamed to say but OPENLY admit, I was not as invested in our country’s political health as I should have been but his presence in this election has stirred a new, terror-outrage-shock-driven commitment in young people to inform themselves and make their voices heard. Amazing intelligent people that have NEVER regarded presidential elections as a thing of such importance so as to demand their personal time and input are leaping out of their chairs to take action. I’m just sorry it took this long.

It’s not just that Mr. Trump sitting in the president’s seat is not the best idea. But it’s everything else that will surface as a result of his presidency. THIS phenomenon itself is not necessarily a bad thing. I believe black Americans have been empowered and encouraged to speak out more confidently on social injustices against their community during Obama’s presidency. I imagine that the day we see a woman president or Asian-American president, respective communities will feel like maybe their voices might be amplified and regarded more seriously. But THE PEOPLE who are coming to surface in support of Trump’s reign, whose voices may be amplified by Trump’s presence in office, are not people that need to grow into more power… or to feel more legitimized in their stances… no no no no no. Come on.

President Obama said recently that he has faith in America enough to say with confidence that Trump will not become president. I desperately cling to these words. PLEASE, AMERICA, LET THIS BE TRUE.

For those that cannot vote, still read up and KNOW, speak your [informed, useful, coherent] thoughts because your voice still counts for something! For those that can vote, PLEASE DO. Here are probably the most helpful resources I’ve come across:

1. If you need to register to vote — and the deadlines for each state
2. If you want to know who you stand with in politics
3. If you want to know where/when to vote in your state
4. What forms of ID you need to bring with you to vote
5. Things you should be aware of if you are excited for Trump to win

This post isn’t aimed singularly to point and laugh at Trump but to be vigilant and aware of what his presidency truly implies for this country. Even if you are part of the most favorable demographic, closely known and loved people can be targeted. It’s not a certainty, but sort of.. nothing really is with this guy. His loyalty is almost exclusively to himself. If you support Trump, it is what it is but know exactly what and who you’re supporting.