Note: Like all content on the Internet, this article is 100% genuine, has no ulterior motive or hidden agenda, and reflects absolute truth*.

A lot of kids have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Maybe your kid does, too. Maybe that’s why your kid is being an annoying brat. I wouldn’t know…

…But as someone with no children of my own, or even nieces or nephews, I care a great deal. And so, I’ve gone on a truth-seeking journey.

After conducting extensive research (read: none), I’ve concentrated all the reasons (total: 1) your child maybe definitely has ADHD.

Reason #1:

You’re giving them too little active shit to actually do!

You see, kids need to be active, outside, DANCING. Like the little angels that they are.

Instead, we stick them in boring classrooms all day and tell them to do homework. Gross.

So if we’re going to put our offspring on auto-child, we might as well do it with style.

Give Them Something To Dance To.

My sister, Peanut (no, that’s not her actual real name) loves kids. And music.

In her modest quest to become a child-star (that is, star of children), she unknowingly fixed a condition that has been boggling the best minds in medicine for the past couple of decades.

Her music, it turns out, makes kids dance so much until they fall asleep and leave you the F**K alone. Boom, medical community!

To commercialize her efforts and help you stop grinding Adderral into your child’s Gerber, Peanut made a Kickstarter for her new child-soothing album, CUDDLEBUG PARADE. See this video.

This will maybe definitely* fix everything that’s wrong with your kid.