My face just looks like that

I smile a lot. It’s unusual to see a frown on my face or a furrowed brow. But occasionally I’ll be deep in thought and undoubtedly, someone will say this:
“Why so down?” Or “Smile, honey, it’s not that bad.”
This will come from a complete stranger as well as someone I know. I have to tell them that I’m not sad, I’m just thinking about something. As a teenager, I was walking into church one time in my hometown of Chicago and got the same comment.
It’s not a big deal, I know. I’ve been told that seeing my unsmiling face must mean that something is wrong. Because I normally smile in conversation, greeting or just casually, that my serious face just seems strange.
Sorry, but it’s just my face.
I thought about this today after reading a column by a San Francisco Chronicle writer who got much more serious and darker feedback after posting an unsmiling photo for his column. Click the link to see the photo for yourself.
Otis R. Taylor Jr. is a black man who wears oversized black glasses and dreadlocks. His eyes are piercing and serious, and his mouth is upturned into a half smile. It’s a serious photo but certainly not menacing or angry.
To me, that is.
Taylor reported receiving all manner of negative comments about his photo:
“Boy, get back in those chains before I pull out those dreads and whip you with them,” read one of the first emails I received about my face. “That will give you something to be mad about.”
This is shocking. First of all, the photo doesn’t look “mad.” And second, what give the reader the right to go “there” — to the slavery reference?
Clearly these comments are not just about a perceived angry look, but about the fact that a black man with a natural hairstyle is looking at them from their newspaper or digital device. These readers don’t like that. Don’t like HIM. And that’s too damn bad.
Taylor recounts more examples of the feedback he received, but more importantly he said that it was intended. Planned.
I didn’t smile on purpose.
Staring stoically reflects the agony in the topics I write about — race, housing, immigration, social justice. To me, the photo shows the seriousness with which I approach my job exploring the differences and commonalities of people in the East Bay.
He is a serious writer with a serious beat (or topic of his reporting, for the unwashed in news lingo). And has the right to present himself anyway he pleases.
Up until now, I have used a smiling photo on my profile page. And I’ll leave it there for now. But when I want to change it, possibly to the photo on this story, I have the right to do so.
And don’t tell me I look menacing, or angry, or sad. Get past it. Get to know me through my words, not the picture.
It’s just my face.
