11. Dazed and Confused in New York
I had left Israel, my Middle Eastern pressure cooker, and was relieved to be back in New York to begin my studies.
My parents and my brother tried to help soften my landing in the U.S., and promptly introduced me to a number of young, single ladies. Many of these potential love interests were actually very nice, and I’m sure that I would have enjoyed getting to know some of them better. But the moment that I started talking about myself, and where I’d been for the last year and a half, I could see their interest level sink like a rock in the ocean. What a turn-off I had become!
In the past, I’d heard stories about the astronauts who had landed on the moon. According to legend, the experience had so changed them, that upon their return to earth, they had difficulty re-connecting to regular society. That’s how I felt. Disconnected.
Moreover, despite the stressful aspects of life in Israel, I was inexplicably starting to miss the place. I frequently found myself daydreaming about eating real hummus with real pita bread, the great weather (for those who don’t mind the heat), maintaining my Jewish identity while eschewing any form of religious observance, and… feeling connected. I even started missing some of those people who had once seemed so annoying to me.
In any case, my studies were taking longer than expected. I had run out of money and started working in a full-time job — leaving little time for coursework. Like it or not, I was stuck in America, at least for now.
My dilemma: Was I going to “re-program” myself for a life in the U.S.? Or would I follow my heart and move back to Israel? It took a while to reach a definitive conclusion, but in the end, I decided — Israel was my home, and I would return there… eventually.
While my studies (which would take me four years to complete) proved a serious obstacle to my return, I found a way to overcome my loneliness and hang on to my sanity…
In New York, I discovered, there were several active chapters of the Aliyah Movement. These chapters served as support groups for potential immigrants like myself.
[Note: Today, the leading organization for promoting and supporting immigration to Israel from North America is called Nefesh B’Nefesh.]
At meetings of these chapters, I could connect to a community of like-minded twenty-somethings who were dealing with the same longing and loneliness that I had been experiencing. Some of them had even studied at the same Hebrew-language immersion program that I attended. These people became my home-away-from-home comrades, and many of them eventually returned to Israel and remain my friends to this day.
