8. Sub-standard TV… Or how I became “Yosi”
If the year had been 1998 or 2006, I probably wouldn’t have had to change my name. In the modern age of cable TV and 500 channels, there’s no shortage of programming that includes a character named “Jeff” or “Jeffrey”.
But in 1983, I landed in Israel, a country with ONE television channel — that broadcasted for a total of 8 hours a day. So when strangers asked me my name, they usually reacted to my reply with a befuddled, “come again?” look. After the 7th or 8th such occurrence, I decided to take control of the situation. After all, I was trying my best to fit in.
Years before, I had come across the Certificate of Ritual Circumcision that my parents kept in our family album. The circumcision ritual takes place eight days after a Jewish child’s birth, and following the ceremony, the child’s Hebrew name is revealed, and recorded on the certificate — in my case, “Yosef” — Joseph from the Bible. You remember Joseph — that young, smarty-pants clairvoyant, decked out in those colorful pajamas.
So that’s how I started answering the question. Name? Yosef. Problem solved.
Or so I thought, until one day, a good-natured fellow took me aside, and said, “Look. How old are you?” 25, I answered. He shook his head, “80-year-olds are called ‘Yosef’. Just go with ‘Yosi’. That will work.”
I guess it did. No one ever shot me that “look” again.
