Lisa Renee
Jul 22, 2017 · 1 min read

I want one.

I want the statue and the Mildew Bucks and that badge thing. I want it all and I want to blush and spout a brilliant speech in a memorable outfit.

I am, however, ever so uncomfortable with this “nominate yourself” business. I was trained by deferential introverts to never blow my horn (you know what I mean, get your head out of the gutter), to never say, “I’m the best, I deserve the best,” even when I am and I do.

I have failed in my duties to train the next generation appropriately, it seems, as my daughter just swanned through the room and said, “I look so GOOD!” She also said, “I look like a sailor,” which I am failing to understand. I digress.

Anyway, if there’s a way around this self-nomination (which sounds like self-immolation, interestingly), I’d love to know about it. Otherwise, I’ll quietly nominate myself for Best Cocktail Menu. Don’t tell anyone, though.

Also, did Hannity take Best Human Being? Because I want that one, too, if that works.

(You made me laugh, which is no small thing as I am in a bear of a mood. All these damned people, no wonder I end up writing about cocktails.)