Why I’m No Longer Asking For Warm Introductions

If you’ve ever attended a start-up conference or heard a venture capitalist speak, you might have heard the following advice, “If you want to get a meeting with me, ask for a warm introduction from someone in my network.” I’ve even heard VC’s say that they’ve never funded a deal that didn’t come via a warm intro. It’s not just about VC’s, it’s about potential advisors, partners and customers. Warm intros, done correctly, can be the email version of a wingman in a bar.

Sounds so easy right? Wrong.

The Problem With Warm Intros

The problem with warm intros is that they’re not so easy, and here’s why:

1. Time Suck: Getting the intro requires you to spend, nay, waste time cozying up to people in the VC’s inner circle, and there’s no guarantee that they will make the introduction. Why not just cozy up to the VC instead? I know of situations where investors liked a deal, but their henchmen did not.
2. Uncertainty: How do you know which people the VC really trusts? Just because someone’s connected on LinkedIn or has an email address doesn’t mean they’re a trusted source.
3. Losing control: When you ask for a warm introduction, no matter how hard you try to tailor the email, e.g. “could you forward this note?” you lose control of the messaging. No one knows your product better than you, and no one will ever share your enthusiasm and passion. Just this week, I asked for a meeting directly, got some push back, quickly responded and was able to secure the meeting, despite the initial hesitation. I’ve heard of warm intros — I’ve NEVER heard of “warm response to push back.”

Asking for a warm intro might make you look shrewd, but it also might imply something negative. I recently offered to introduce a radio show host to a potential guest for his show, someone I had interviewed. He declined my offer and told me he preferred to reach out on his own. “Asking for a warm introduction makes it look like my platform isn’t powerful enough.”

So What’s the Alternative?

I’m done asking, but I’ve come up with two alternatives:

1. Don’t ask. But if someone (a) is impressive and (b) offers on their own to connect you, go ahead and say yes. Nothing is 100%, but at least this way you have a better chance that this individual is both trusted and passionate about what you’re doing.
2. Get out there. Be someone who everyone in your industry knows. Blog, tweet, share, speak and help make intros for others. Do anything you can so that, when it comes to time for you to reach out, you’re not doing it cold. You’ll even do some good deeds along the way.