My Greatest Lessons From 2018
A Private Journal Entry — That Needs Sharing
Every January, I sit down to reflect on the past year.
Looking back on these times of reflection, there have been years of ups and downs, as well as, a few surprises.
This particular year has been one where I’ve learned some powerful lessons, and I’m about to share them with you.
If I were to do it all over again, there are some changes I would have made and different approaches I would have taken.
This past year, however, has given me many opportunities to see where I can improve and I wouldn’t trade that for anything, especially these four lessons…
Too Much Grit Might Not Be The Best In All Situations
Strength, drive, determination, and confidence can be great assets. Grit is great, however, it also can become a weakness.
While being (or should I say acting) strong, determined, and “confident”, I wasn’t as vulnerable, collaborative, and honest as I otherwise could have been.
Grit is a funny thing: we certainly need it, but too much of turns to foolishness.
My first lesson from 2018 is to be more open, transparent, vulnerable, and authentic. Being authentic isn’t something I should have to try being.
I either am or am not.
For me, 2019 is not going to be about “grit”; this year will be about engaging with my values at work, at home, in my writing, and all other areas of my life.
2019 will be about being authentic and engaging fully in life.
Know That You Have People Who Will Help You — If You Let Them
If it is to be, it is up to me — this being how I can have a tendency to think. Well, it’s a lie.
Thinking this way, I began to feel like I was on an island
No matter how alone you feel in your pursuit, there are people that care about you — whether we see them or not.
I had to let them into my world, noticing that as soon as I did the burden got a little lighter, and the vision toward my next step much clearer.
My second lesson from last year is knowing that letting people into my world starts with being vulnerable (vulnerable — but not a victim).
Knowing that oftentimes by connecting with others, I find that we have so much in common and want the same outcomes in life.
2019 will be about connecting with others and sharing what’s real
Fearing Failure and Making It My Goal to Please Others, Prevented Me From Being Me
What’s at the root of the first two lessons?
There was an underlying fear of failure — more specifically a fear of what others might be thinking.
What if they think I’m an imposter? What if they disagree? How can I be sure this is the right direction?
Thoughts like this would flood my mind. While doing so, I wasn’t owning what I believed to be true.
When living life from a place of fear I was being inauthentic — and it confuses people.
What people see is someone who is coming across as forced and trying too hard. It leaves people feeling unsettled.
What did I learn? When I allow myself to be led by my fearful thoughts, I am not engaging my values and showing up as my true self.
Fear can be useful, just like confidence can be; but too much of either will become unproductive toward what you really want in life.
2019 will be about me knowing what my intentions are and what it is I want to create in life — and I’m going to do it unabashedly
And the best has been saved for last…
Experiencing Fear, Anxiety, Overwhelm, and Other Unwanted Feelings Don’t Have to Prevent Me From What I Want In Life
The greatest lesson in 2019 didn’t happen until November of this year. I’ve spent much of my time trying to get rid of my fear and anxiety.
Reading books, taking courses, getting coaching, reading more books, podcasts, mindfulness training apps — you name it, I tried it.
Then I read You Are Not A Rock and The Happiness Trap. I started diving deep into what is known in the psychology world as Acceptance and Commitment Training (ACT).
The number one lesson from all of this is that you and I can feel fear and experience a whole concoction of unwanted feelings, thoughts, and desires while choosing to take action toward living the life we want.
Living life fully and having unwanted thoughts are separate. We are not our thoughts nor our feelings…if we are to be anything, it is found in the actions we choose to take.
In 2019, I will become open to the unwanted feelings and thoughts, aware of what I’m experiencing and why, and I’ll choose to engage with my values and live the life that begging to be lived.
What did 2018 teach you, and how will you apply those lessons in the year ahead?
