A Man’s Take on Gender Diversity in Tech
A few years back I remember being annoyed with all of the “crazy” feminists. I would think things like “you’re not helping”, or “it’s not even that bad”. But then it hit me. I’m an idiot. I’m a white male that grew up in a good neighborhood, went to a good high school, got into a good college, and now I work for my second good company. What do I know of struggle? Of course I know of heartbreak and loss; my younger brother died of SIDS, and an ex-fiancé cheated on me. But one-time sufferings are not the same as a lifetime of repeated offenses.
Actor Jeremy Renner recently came under fire for having similar thoughts to what I used to think. Regarding balancing the gap in gender pay, he said “It’s not my job…” The problem is that it’s no one’s job, which makes it everyone’s responsibility. By doing nothing, you have effectively sided with inequality. I can’t help but think of Cain from the Bible, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” Yeah. You are.
“Our actions — and inaction — touch people we may never know and never meet across the globe.” — Jacqueline Novogratz
So why am I writing this? I want people I work with outside of the dominant group to know that the least diverse among them is aware of the problem, has seen it manifested, and is on their side. I’m writing this because I have to say something; even if people think I’m doing it to boost myself up; even if it’s not much.
The two keywords: quantity and awareness.
The first priority is quantity. We absolutely have to do everything we can to encourage diversity in the tech industry. When I say that, I specifically mean software engineering, but it applies to most engineering disciplines.
A quick story. My father-in-law was a computer engineer, and so when my wife went to college she wanted to follow in his footsteps. She went to a Computer Engineering mixer to learn more about the program, where she met a female professor that she hoped to learn from. Midway through the conversation the professor told my wife that she should not go into Computer Engineering, because she was “too social”. So my wife got a master’s degree in Civil Engineering, and still regrets listening to the teacher. I guarantee that if I had been having the same conversation with the same teacher that she would have welcomed my social personality with open arms. I can imagine her saying: “With that personality, you’ll be a leader one day!”
We need quantity. Never turn people away or discourage them from any engineering discipline. If someone won’t do well in the field, they will find out soon enough on their own. There’s no need for us to do that for them.
Part of boosting numbers is simply awareness. Understanding and accepting that we have unconscious biases that have been drilled into our minds from a young age, not with ill-intent, but because cultures have evolved. We have to learn to look inward, and outward, and then consciously compare the two with logic and reason.
I remember interviewing an older man for an engineering job. While he was working on the problem I kept thinking to myself, “He is writing soo slow! Will he ever finish part 1?” He did, and part 2. And then I realized. Agism is just as real. My unconscious bias said he moved slowly. I looked at the clock and it told a different story.
Awareness takes effort, but it will categorically improve the lives of those with whom you surround yourself.
“We cannot change what we are not aware of, and once we are aware, we cannot help but change.” — Sheryl Sandberg
If you haven’t read “Lean In” by Sheryl Sandberg, you really should. It was eye opening to me as a male, and I’ve heard from many others of a variety of backgrounds that it did the same for them. The whole book is about awareness. It’s about learning to identify characteristic actions in groups that have been systematically oppressed in years past in order to encourage change and transformation.
“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” My challenge to you, is to “join the dance”. It’s not your job, but it is your responsibility. Say something, even if it’s not much.
