The 3 Engineers I Hate

Zack Argyle
4 min readOct 15, 2015

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What makes a great software engineer? In my experience, only a small piece of what differentiates a good engineer from a great one is actual engineering. Most days you won’t write game-changing software. Most days you won’t craft revolutionary architectures or scalable systems from the ground up. But every day, without fail, you will build relationships. The quality of those interactions have the potential to make or break whether someone is seen as great, or just mediocre.

There are certain key traits in engineers that I have seen over and over again, that are destructive and damning in regards to self progression within our field. Now these engineers will never know it, but I hate them. “Hate is a strong word, but I really, really, really don’t like you”. I hate them for the toxic fumes they emit in my workplace, causing an unwanted climate change in my teams. These are those engineers.

  1. Clueless “Chris”

The keyword here is empathy. A “Chris” has none, and he has no idea. Engineers have a tendency to be introverts, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t look outside yourself. The difference is like driving. Can you imagine driving a car without windows? Trying to traverse the complexities of the world without seeing outside the car’s interior? So we add windows that let us look at the world around us as we navigate our way. A “Chris” has no windows, and has no idea what’s going on in the streets around him. An effective team member, regardless of the job, has to be aware of the feelings and needs of those around them, and react accordingly.

“Can you imagine driving a car without windows?”

A “Chris” might seem selfish to some people, but he genuinely is not. He doesn’t actively oppose the needs of others, he just legitimately doesn’t realize that they have any needs. This is terrifying, especially if a “Chris” finds himself in a leadership position. Especially if a “Chris” becomes your manager. What I hate about “Chris” is that his cluelessness is miasmatic. When someone cares about you, it’s easy to care about them. But when “Chris” shows a teammate indifference, his teammate returns the gesture. If you know a “Chris”, you need to have a blunt conversation with him to open his eyes.

2. Stuck Up “Steve”

Silicon Valley is chock full of “Steves”. He’s the hotshot that masks his insecurities in pride and conceit. A “Steve” will always have an opinion, and it will likely be the opposite of yours. He is unnecessarily argumentative, and is a categorically bad listener. When one person is outwardly indifferent to the needs of another, it is often then reciprocated, infecting teams and creating a culture of competition where a culture of teamwork should exist.

The worst part about a “Steve” is that he honestly believes he is the smartest one in the room, and that no one around him has anything to teach him. If you’ve ever thought that someone had nothing to teach you, you’ve failed yourself profoundly. Every person you meet is better than you at something. Spend time with them and do everything you can to improve yourself in that area. Remember, it’s not always about engineering. Their “expertise” may or may not be technical, but find it and absorb a small bit of whatever it is. If you learn this lesson, come join my team. If you’re a “Steve”, grow up.

3. Lazy “Lauren”

Everyone has a little slothfulness in them, except for Cat Lee. If you know her, you probably agree. The danger of laziness is that it’s highly addictive. Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys nailed it when he said: “Beware the lollipop of mediocrity; lick it once and you’ll suck forever.” A “Lauren” is a poor communicator, because she is unprepared. A “Lauren” works with no real passion, which ends up draining the lifeblood of her team.

“Beware the lollipop of mediocrity; lick it once and you’ll suck forever.”

What I really hate about a “Lauren” is that she has become complacent in her talents. As software engineers there are always a million more things to learn. You’re a front-end developer? Try out Python, Java, Objective C! Are you a generalist? Become the best in the world in some specific area! There is no valid excuse for complacency in the world of Software, but a “Lauren” has a hundred rationalizations swimming through her head every day. Lazy people just haven’t seen the bigger picture, and have stopped looking long ago.

Obviously these names are contrived and don’t represent real people, but their traits are universally applicable to what sets apart a good engineer from a great one. You have to have empathy, and look outside yourself. You have to be humble and open to instruction. And lastly, you have to stay driven and always learning.

Do you know a “Chris”, “Steve”, or “Lauren”? Maybe it’s you ;)

Is there another engineer you hate?

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