“If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable.” — Lucius Annaeus Seneca
If some in this world only knew that adventure was waiting for them right outside their door, they might even jump at it.
But for many of us, it’s not just about accepting a call to adventure. It’s also about having some direction. Some purpose.
As Victor Frankl so poignantly wrote -
Ever more people today have the means to live, but no meaning to live for. — Viktor E. Frankl
When we are raised by those who understand little about their worth, they often spread that disease on to us without ever meaning to.
Even worse, when it’s mixed with genuine love, they seek to alleviate the possibility of pain and adversity as they have come to know it. They do everything they can to make sure we don’t have to feel the things they felt.
And in return, we miss two key points in every child’s growth. The part of healthy independence and dependence.
Independence comes through small obstacles as children that stretch us in order to introduce us to the concepts of life and living.
But through these challenges, we are also reminded of our fallibility. Our smallness in the universe. Our need for others.
We realize at certain points that we need the help of our parents in order to overcome the struggle and easily seek their help.
We are not gods and therefore require some dependence. Some people have strengths in areas that we should seek help. Others need to make use of our strongest parts.
But when a parent misunderstands their worth and passes that confusion on to their kids, they warp these two concepts. They either leave them too independent (playing god) or too dependent (forever child).
What’s so important to me about the story of Tania is not just the struggle she endured to grow. It is gratitude she has for a father who understood the necessity of both independence and dependence.
He gave her what she needed. What she could depend on him for. Some of that was a boat and some of that was a good foundation of worth.
So that when he told her to go out and live, she could look inside herself and see who she was.
I can imagine the fear of that adventure. But I can also imagine her heart reminding her of exactly who she is and what she’s worth regardless of her actual success on the trip.
She also knew pure comfort or pleasure wouldn’t suffice. It would never help her achieve the life she wanted.
She thought the same way Frankl did:
“Pleasure is, and must remain, a side-effect or by-product, and is destroyed and spoiled to the degree to which it is made a goal in itself.”
And with that, she was free to risk it all, struggle through, and come out the other side a little stronger.
What a great story Chad. I love literary prose you used to open the story and reel us in. I could feel it in my heart before my mind even realized what I was reading. Thanks!
