Would you sleep with someone with herpes?

Cassie Song
Dec 30, 2014 · 3 min read

You know, sometimes, we, being the ones who have herpes (if you are indeed one of us :-) have to stop and think about this. When we “tell” a prospective mate that we have herpes, do we expect them to just say, “sure, sign me right up”. No, we can’t expect that. We have to realize and think about how we would have felt, had someone said that to us prior to our contracting this minor virus. I can’t even say disease, because it’s not really a disease. It’s simply a virus. So you ask yourself, “Can I love someone with 437737″ or can I love someone with herpes and you have to decide if the person you want to love is worth the risk of having that stigma (which many of us are trying to break the stigma, along with Valtrex BTW). It’s not so much the virus which is so horrible, it’s the social stigma which has been placed on having herpes. Mind you, there are cases, different strains of herpes, which are relatively rare for the most part, which do create much more discomfort in those who have it, such as herpes neuralgia.

At this stage in my life, I would have to say yes and it would certainly depend on the circumstances. There is no harm in dating and getting to know someone anyway and if they tell you they have herpes, what you need to realize is that telling you was not the easiest thing for them to do, however because they strive to be honest in their lives and chances are, they had sexual relations with someone who didn’t give them that choice of knowing in advance. Then there are also those who didn’t even know they had it, due to asymptomatic shedding. Good luck with your decision and just remember that they apparently cared enough about you to confide something to you so personal and which in the past has had a very negative stigma attached to it. Just remember it can happen to ANYBODY. Heck, you might even have it yourself. Also, just because you might have had all of your “STD testing” done at the clinic, doesn’t mean they automatically test for herpes, so you could have it and not even know it. Ever had a coldsore? That’s oral herpes and that can be transferred to someone genitally via oral sex. Get tested before you judge. You might come to realize that it’s truly a non-issue. It is a non-issue for me because I’ve gotten ok with having herpes. It doesn’t define who I am, even though, I believe I have become a better person in spite of having herpes. So if you’re asking the question, would you be willing to date a person who had genital herpes, then I hope you would consider the person themselves and not the virus so much. Life is about choices.

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    Cassie Song

    Written by

    I have herpes,and I love my life!