The Dichotomy of Adulthood

Amongst the news of Trump’s nomination as the Republican candidate, and then his consistent racial degradation of our nation’s diversity, the reality of being an adult hit me like a whirlwind. This will be the first time that I will be able to vote as a citizen of the United States. Despite following the political debates and elections from the safety of my living room, there has always been a clear line between the decision in my head and the reality of the decision that was made. I was separated from the election, as I was not responsible for the opinion that I kept, and so I held on to the elections with a thin thread of knowledge and care.

This time, however, it is entirely different. Islam as a religion has been one of beautiful scriptures, romantic poetry, and peaceful congregations. I learned how to read, write, and grow up within my community. In every sense, I became an adult in the society that many so easily point fingers at. However, it is easy to stand on the outside, separated by the Masjid’s gates and walls and point fingers at the prayers and scriptures that in no way propel hate. As an audience member, your opinion is yours and while you have the freedom to share it, you don’t hold the responsibility of its outcome. The people on the receiving end of your loaded words grudgingly bear the impact, whether they want to or not.

That has always been the case. From the moment our moralities begin forming, our parent’s didn’t hesitate to impart wisdom on the importance of kindness, fairness, and equality. Most of us have heard it in one form or another, but it flushes out of our system as we begin our adolescence. These moral elements are replaced by the awkward glances, unwanted pimples, and harrowing menstrual periods that we go through during our teen-hood and continue until we begin maturing around the age of 18–25. It is our reward to ourselves for living through such a turbulent, gut-wrenching, and painful period, regardless of consequences our actions bring.

Memory is often linked to important areas of our lives. In that same sensitive period of development, every aspect of a conversation that reveals opinions on someone’s intelligence, appearance, and personality is absorbed and reflected. Like a self-fulfilling prophecy, if you tell someone they are not capable, they will become not capable. If you tell someone they have the ability to find the cure for cancer, they will work harder than anyone else to find that cure. The belief of self-efficacy begins forming during this development period, but the sad reality is that for many, it gets stolen from them through middle and high school. They then spend their lost years in college searching for that confidence and belief, many walking away empty.

The period of our adulthood is formative and definitive. From a young age, we envision what we want to become as an adult, and by the time we are 21, many of us are still confused. We are adults; we are independent; we make our own decisions; unfortunately, adulthood doesn’t begin the moment we start paying our own bills, or even when we receive our first paycheck. It begins when the realization of our actions hits us like a whirlwind and we begin to ponder on the impact of our actions on the world, community, and ourselves.