I’m ready to settle down…
For 365 days, I have decided to commit to one church, one body of christ.
Commitment was something, I always struggled with. In fact growing up, I was constantly moving from one place to another. Having to build new friendships, and moving to different schools.
Many were the critical times in my life; puberty, parents school meetings, most special events such as Christmas, birthdays, and more where my father did not always demonstrated commitment towards us ‘my mother, sister and I’.
For, I know my father also had a tough life, where his father not only abused his mother but was absent in their life, leaving him to take the role of of a father.
When he hadn’t even reached puberty yet. Could it be that his father and his father’s father never saw what commitment looks like?
They knew no different. I knew no different.
It kills me to say this, but I became quick to dismiss, quick to move on. As though, I was okay with people leaving me and vice versa.
Though, greatly was the pain that was caused when my ex-husband left us. Surprisingly, I was not shocked.
In fact, it was a matter of when. I expected it soon or later.
‘wrong way of thinking especially in a marriage, where the thread should be commitment’
Could it be that my ex’s father leaving, made him a man that lacks in commitment?!
Anyway moving on, after doing church hopping for so long, after many excuses and fears of committing to a friend, to a church.
I’m officially tired. I’m ready to settle down
As of May 30. 2016, I am and will attempt to break this vicious cycle with God’s help. I will pave a different path for my son. And my son’s son and so on.