Keeping quiet about the domestic abuse

Growing up in Pakistan, i have always heard my mother and grandmother, talking about a certain woman or the other that how she should have done this or that to make her marriage work. Never did they discuss that a man should have done this thing or that to make his marriage work. Which brings me to the question, is it really only a woman’s job to make compromises to make her marriage work? A man is free to do what so ever he wishes and a woman’s job, after getting married, is to please her husband and lead her life according to her husbands wishes.

Many women in Pakistan are a victim of domestic abuse but only a few tell the tale. They from the very early age are taught that a women merely cant survive without a man. This makes them dependent on their husbands. So mostly woman keep it to themselves while some don’t even know that they are a victim of domestic violence.

A cousin of mine went through a domestic violence. After happily getting married, she found out that her husband is alcoholic. After massive drinking every night, he would come home and beat her up. As she was taught by her mother that women have to compromise, so she did. One day she finally gave up and filled for the divorce. She was married at a very young age and couldn’t complete her education. So after her divorce she joined the school again and got higher education. She got independent and started teaching at a school. After several years she got married again to a well educated business man in Canada. And thus the beating started all over again. It being her second marriage, she compromised again. Living in Canada she started making friends. When she discussed her issue with her friends there, they advised her to report it as serious action is taken in Canada against it which she wouldn’t get living in Pakistan. After her husband found out that she has reported this, he flew back to Pakistan. The Canadian government gave her the support since she was unemployed single mother there. So after living there for 5 years as a single mother, she being a Pakistani woman, took her husband back. Because she was always taught that a woman cant survive without a man.

We all need to stop making women in our country feel that they have to be with a husband regardless of how he treats them. Instead we need to bring an awareness that a women can survive on her own. If all the girls are given proper education and taught that they are worth something on their own then they would not need a man for financial and emotional support. Lets put an end to domestic violence by educating our female population.