How This Instagram Campaign ‘Manipulate’ You for Kindness
The #WeShouldAlwaysBeKind campaign asked you to be kind. But is it, in itself, kind?
On May 5, 2020, Instagram user and UX designer, Sulaiman Syahrod, took Instagram by storm with a campaign he named #WeShouldAlwaysBeKind. It was an easy campaign in which anyone could partake. The idea was to post a template saying “this is the most kind person I’ve ever known” in big letters, accompanied by a shiny arrow to your Instagram story. Beside the arrow was a spot where you were supposed to put a ‘comment’ sticker on so that anyone that sees your story would see their profile picture.
At first, you might think this was computer generated. A call-back to the digital remnants of Facebook where a system would tell you who your number one fan is, and published them on your timeline. Your followers would notice that this wasn’t deliberate but still cherish the compliment as soon as they saw your story.
It was a pretty harmless campaign at first glance. You complimented your followers as the kindest person you know, and they would think you dedicated an entire story to announce your friendship to the world. Just a harmless, and arbitrary act of kindness guaranteed to put a smile on your face. After all, haven’t we already thought that everyone was the kindest person we know?
Although the creator of the campaign had the best intention in mind, this might not be the healthiest way to share your affection with your peers. Many users soon chimed in about how manipulative this campaign seemed to them and how dangerous if shown to people who weren’t in their best mental health condition. These users argued that not only that this campaign was not sincere, but you also might not feel as significant when you found out that the message was automated and directed towards everyone.
An Instagram user, Bahreisy, described this better in his Instagram story.
“This is someone that I probably don’t know very well but I’m gonna call them the nicest person I know so we can all pretend that there’s nothing fake and ingenuine about Instagram’s culture and blindly feel good about ourselves,” he opined sarcastically.
“This trend is trash. It’s basically how fuckboys operate,” he later added in his story. “Make you feel special when you’re not the only one. And how do you feel once you figure that out? Betrayed (and) hurt. So why haven’t I heard anyone say that fuckboys are just ‘spreading positivity’? This shit works the exact same way, why are we praising it like it’s a good thing?”
Needless to say, his comment section was flooded with agreements.
Another user, Arief, also chimed in with his opinion in his Instagram story. “I’m gonna pretend I care about this person’s well-being so I can feel better about myself,” he said. “I hope this #WeShouldAlwaysBeKind trend is just a prank, not a pretentious campaign. This is dangerous for those who are mentally and emotionally vulnerable.”
On a lighter yet still upsetting note, another Instagram user commented on how much the campaign seemed like a prank to him. “This is more like a prank to me. Just imagine if you saw this from a girl you like and your face was in the story. You’d think this is the way she reciprocates your feelings.”
While these arguments might seem a little far-fetched, especially for you who had jumped into the bandwagon, there was a science-backed reason to support these. According to Mark R. Leary in his journal, Aggressive Behavior, ostracized people might become aggressive and turn to violence when they feel like they have been socially rejected. Leary also found that thirteen out of fifteen school shooters he observed for his research have suffered from social rejection.
There was nothing wrong with being kind, but when you’re kind, you have to be genuine.
So, in this case, if a person who wasn’t mentally capable views this campaign and realized that it wasn’t directed specifically to them, it might evoke a feeling of betrayal and amplify their sense of social rejection. Although it might be true that we shouldn’t smother people with this condition, especially with a case as trivial as this, it goes to show how people might misinterpret the meaning behind this campaign and twist it into something negative.
On the other hand, this didn’t make the creator of this campaign a deliberately sinister person whose only goal was to toy with people’s emotions. Sulaiman was just a guy who tried to do something kind to the community and make the platform a better place. Because let’s face it, Instagram hasn’t been the best virtual space for our mental health. This is the environment that created the ‘Instagram Face’ phenomenon where everyone attempts to look like Kim Kardashian through plastic surgery. Any act of kindness in this platform, no matter how small, might be a progressive step to build a better, and healthier online environment. And whether you love it or despise it, this campaign was successful in one thing:
It triggered the conversations.
Whenever it came to being kind, we’ve always abused ourselves with second thoughts. Would it be weird? Were we close enough? Would they judge me? If a distant friend shared her troubling experience on social media, you would be less likely to console her compared to someone you talked to daily. We needed that trigger, and this campaign graciously provided us with that. It connected you with friends you haven’t talked to in a while and helped you rekindle friendships that were rapidly expiring. What this campaign was trying to do was, in a sense, correct. It was the deliverance that was slightly off-putting.
There was nothing wrong with being kind, but when you’re kind, you have to be genuine. Share your words, and do it with meaning. In place of sharing generic words and manipulating everyone into thinking they were someone significant, we should cherish each one of our friends without excuse and second thoughts.
When it was Christmas and you‘re swamped with wishes from distant friends and relatives, which would mean the most to you: an automated message deliberately broadcasted to everyone they know or a warm, and endearing message specifically crafted just for you?
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