Your Favorite Dating Apps Can Do Much Better for Queer Folks
Seriously, we deserve better than Grindr.
When a movie depicts two people stumbling upon love, it would always be the most teeth-aching kind of happenstance. Maybe in a jam-packed nightclub showered in vibrant colors, the history aisle of a public library, or a picturesque coffee shop with pink sky towering over their heads.
But as much as we want this rom-com fantasy to manifest into reality, this isn’t the norm that is accepted among queer people — especially in a country where they publicly flog you for having sex or capture you for going to a strip club.
In lieu, we resort to the safest, most private space to reach out to our community, dating apps. There is no other way. No secret sign telling you to “knock twice in five minutes” for the best oral of your life, no sparks in his eyes that compel you to the dance floor, and trusting your radar can be a dangerous game to play.
Hitting someone up in a social setting is a heterocentric tradition that is just not realistic for queer people. In fact, a research conducted by LoveItCoverIt shows that at least 70% of queer partners in the UK have found their way into each other through dating apps.
Yet despite how ingrained online dating is within the queer culture, big player dating apps are still failing to provide the community with a safe and inclusive environment to find love. From problematic management to overt gamification, casual racism to transphobic algorithm, the dating app scenery is not yet perfect if catered to queer folks.
They seem to forget that they’re supposed to make the experience more human.
So, if online dating refuses to go anywhere, they can start improving by fixing their issues. Starting with these.
It ain’t a game
Dating apps like Tinder and OkCupid gamify their platform to engage their users. The most common form of this is to provide nearby profiles like a stack of cards where users can swipe right to like the profile or left to pass. But to the developers’ dismay, this only leads to what we know now as a ‘dating app fatigue’ — where users start to feel worn out by the apps and the excitement seems to fade.
Not only that these apps create discomfort to the users, but they are also designed to get you addicted. Tinder executive Jonathan Badeen has admitted that they based their app’s swiping mechanism on a psychological experiment in the 40s. One that turned pigeons into ‘gambling fanatics.’
They seem to forget that they’re supposed to make the experience more human.
Problematic users
Grindr claims to be ‘the world’s largest social networking app for gay, bi, trans, and queer people.’ With that much diversity mentioned, one might assume that it is the perfect safe space a queer person can find. Yet to this day, Grindr faces multiple backlashes for their users’ behavior and problematic management.
Just log in to their platform and you’ll find a baffling profile in no time. One that either has ‘no sissy,’ ‘no chubby,’ or ‘white only’ as their bio. What is most concerning is that they failed to address or even remotely try to fix these issues. But again, this isn’t surprising for a company backed by a straight president who doesn’t support marriage equality.
Keep in mind that Grindr is only one in a million. Similar issues can be found in platforms like Scruff, Manhunt, Growlr, and other queer-specific dating apps.
Lack of security
In countries where being queer is deemed illegal, staying discreet is your only chance of survival. So when you sign up for a dating app, you completely trust your freedom and identity to the mercy of this app. Some dating apps, however, are not taking this matter very seriously.
In 2018, Grindr faced, again, multiple backlashes for sharing their users’ personal information like their HIV status and sexual preference to outside companies — attracting a formal complaint from one consumer group in Norway and a serious letter from two US senators.
Not only that, but experts have also found that Grindr’s security flaw might expose their users’ location data — thus increasing concern among users.
Gender and identity
Being queer extends to more than just your sexuality. Your gender plays along, and thus, your identity. But despite endless discussions regarding how queer people want to be recognized, dating apps are not yet accommodating when it comes to gender options.
Yes, Tinder has provided users with multiple sexual orientations to choose, but when it comes to gender, users are stuck with either ‘man,’ ‘woman,’ or ‘others.’
Also, did you know that trans users are constantly banned from Tinder for no apparent reasons?
Provide sex education
Queer-specific sex education might not always be available in formal education. Among millennials surveyed in 2015, only 12% claim that their sex ed class covered same sex-relationship — not all of them are decent class, either.
In another survey, less than 5% of queer students have health classes that portray a positive representation of LGBT-related topics. If queer students can’t find the sex education they need from schools, dating apps can be the perfect outlet to spread the message.
Conclusion
The road to a safe and inclusive online dating experience might be an endless journey to begin with. The priority of these developers shouldn’t be focused on the number of traffic their platforms receive but rather, the engagement. It should be the deliverance of their promise to an interconnected platform where one can find love.
The aim shouldn’t be the users mindlessly swiping to chiseled abs and pretty smiles but to replicate the experience of connecting to a stranger in a safe virtual space.
