Is selfishness an important characteristic in order to develop empathy towards others?
“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare.” -Audre Lorde
This quote from Audre Lorde, a poet and an intersectional feminist in the 20th century, highlights how important we as people need to care for ourselves first before we care for others. She points out that self-care is not selfishness but a necessary act to nurture ourselves for our own well-being. I agree with Lorde because in this fast-paced society, we all need to take some time off for ourselves on a daily bases: meditation, writing on a journal, or taking a nap. However, I’m more interested in figuring out about selfishness and its detrimental effect in relationships with our friends and loved ones. Specifically, I ask myself:
When does self-care transforms itself into selfishness? Do I take my relationships at risk whenever I place my own needs before others?
Not necessarily true; but sometimes I’m trip myself over whenever I flake out on hanging out or helping out with friends or family. What I mean to say is that sometimes I get too stuck up with myself because I would place my own needs above others.
Although at this point, I should introduce my anecdote to develop a narrative that undermines my question. However, I’ll just write a synopsis instead because I feel that my narrative echos other people’s stories. For instance, many people can relate to this at some point throughout their lives:
I want my friends, family, peers, and colleagues to know that I do care about you and your needs; but sometimes I wish that they can walk a mile in my shoes and understand that I am very busy person who has commitments with school, work, and keeping myself in check. But in the end, I wonder, am I just coming off as selfish without seeing the consequences of my actions on others?
With that said, I just wrote my synopsis to purposely make my question inclusive and open to everyone in this conversation — to those who may be,right now, contemplating themselves about my question, more or less. I didn’t create this entry to come off as a diary. That is not what Medium is intended to do.
Nevertheless, my question does not have an answer or a single reference to point. The concepts of selfishness and empathy echos thorough multiple channels, specifically educational disciplines: Literature, Sociology, Art, History, and Economics. In my three to four years of my college studies — I literally have 39 credits as I’m writing this — my quest is to learn about myself more and to develop empathy. I believe that self -knowledge and empathy are two crucial qualities to have in this trouble times such as a heightened political climate. Having said that, maybe I should create my own self-designed major while I’m still a student at Whittier College: I should title my major The Art, History, and Economics of Selfishness: The Undermines of Racism, Gentrification and Wealth under Trump’s America, or something like that.
Now, won’t that be fascinating to publish my paper someday on selfishness and empathy.
