Routines are set,
repetition is the mother of skill,
the rhythm of studying is slowly swinging in,
an infinitely massive pendulum has been set in motion,
a force bigger than myself nudging me.
With the gentle tap of an old greasy remote,
the dying leviathan comes alive.
Screeching and shuddering as it awakens,
roaring in all its former glory.
Dispensing its refreshing and familiar wind to symbolize the start of
another session at the table.
To prepare me for war,
at yet another table.
To get to another place to repeat it all over again.
Occasionally the sirens and their allures still beckon me to patronise them;
to the cyber cafe,
to release my urges,
to go out there and do something.
But the painful yet liberating truth,
It’s all the same,
there’s nowhere to go and nothing to do.
It’s all fun and games,
a circus that we dance in,
a rat dosing itself with morphine,
from that non-perspective
reduces all meaning.
Nihilism puts things in perspective,
all that we strive and claw for,
With that notion in mind, I find myself
leaning to doing whatever pleases me.
I don’t matter much.
What pleases me would strike most dumb
confused, flabbergasted, enraged, ablaze.
Tearing down the normality of life
and all the glory of its hectic, disorienting nature.
Just staying in the present moment and enjoying the essence of existence is where it’s at.
Not in the new lifestyle product that boosts your self-image.
(relative to the people around you I must say)
Not in the ceaseless hours spent on unfulfilled ambition.
Not in the fruits of your labor.
Let’s put things in perspective,
what does it mean to get good grades,
get to a good school,
get a good job,
get a nice house,
win a gold medal,
live in the Bahamas,
being popular on Instagram.
A relative definition of good not even contrived by ourselves.
And still, we choose to be blindly partisan to it
dogmatic, ideological and closed minded.
Better to be open minded to the extent that birds can shit in it,
than to be in a self-contrived prison of false beliefs.
Choose your idols wisely,
Maybe I’m deluded in my own fantasies,
judge me on my behalf,
an invitation has been sent to your door.
Have a gander into what has been driving you,
it will be a fruitful experience.
I search for fleeting sources of satisfaction to fill the unease inside.
It throws red herrings
all around me,
But never within.
Where the root of all;
experience is interpreted,
emotions are felt,
I wish you all the best in the coming exams,
another delightfully pointless but equally playful aspect of our lives.
How about we contrive our own meanings around it.
Manipulate the self to achieve and savor every step of the way.
How ‘bou dat.
Indulge in the trials and tribulations ahead.