Why You Shouldn’t Be Afraid Of Becoming Just Like Your Parents
There was a time in my life not long ago when I was terrified of the thought that I can become either like my mother or like my father. I wanted to be completely different from them. I wanted to be calmer than my mother and to show my love to my children rather to be distant as my father. I didn’t want to pay the price of being unhappy because I act like my parents.
As years passed and I was living only with my mother we started fighting even for the smallest things. Unfortunately, I soon realised that no matter how hard I tried I was not only not calmer than her but even more nervous. Every little thing was driving me crazy and I was screaming when I was talking to her.
With my father things went all the same way. Instead of showing him my love and expressing my emotions I nearly stopped talking to him, I became cold and indifferent.
After seeing what I have become and almost destroying my relationship with both of my parents I decided that I need to take measures. I had several consultations with a great psychologists. She helped me understand that the more we are afraid of becoming like our parents, the more inevitable it becomes. She recommended me a book by Joan Garriga Bacardí. “Where Are The Coins” tells a beautiful story in which you easily understand that the things we dislike most in our parents characters are the things we tend to copy . For example, if you despise the fact that your father is a heavy drinker, the chance of becoming one yourself is very big. Of course, we are doing all of this unconsciously. This is the main reason we have to think and analyse our behaviour. After doing so, we should make everything we can to accept our parents as they are. Instead of fighting what we don’t like about them we should try to accept and love them even with their bad habits. In this way we will not only have great relationship with our parents but we will also make ourselves a favour. We will life a calmer life in which instead of becoming an impersonation of all the things we don’t like we will become who we were destined to be.