My Husband Hates Me Because I Cheated (I Cheated On My Husband Will He Ever Forgive Me)

Zara Vera
6 min readOct 6, 2023
Photo by Abbat on Unsplash

Today, I want to dive deep into a topic that’s incredibly painful and often loaded with guilt and confusion: infidelity in marriage. So often, I hear from people who are grappling with the fallout of cheating, and it’s not just about dealing with their own emotions but also with their partner’s feelings of anger, betrayal, and hatred. If you’re in a situation where you’ve cheated on your spouse, and it feels like your husband hates you, know that you’re not alone. Let’s talk about it.

A distraught woman reached out to me one day. She was in tears, heartbroken, and overwhelmed. Priscilla had cheated on her husband, Chris, a few months ago, and ever since, their relationship had turned into a war zone. Chris couldn’t look at her without disdain, and she felt like she was living with a stranger. She asked me, “Is there any way to make him stop hating me?

As Priscilla poured her heart out to me during our conversation, it became evident that their relationship had been on shaky ground even before the infidelity. Chris had been distant, buried in his work, and they hardly communicated. Priscilla admitted that she had felt lonely and neglected. That’s when she met Mark, an old friend who offered her the attention and emotional connection she had been craving. One thing led to another, and they crossed a line they could never uncross.

Fast forward to the present, and the guilt was eating Priscilla alive. She was genuinely remorseful for her actions, and she had cut all ties with Mark. But Chris’s hatred seemed insurmountable. She wanted to fix things, to turn back time, and never have let things get this far.

The question Priscilla asked me was one I’ve heard countless times in my career as a marriage counsellor, and it’s a question that doesn’t come with an easy answer: “Is there any way to make him stop hating me?”

Now, let’s break this down together. If you’ve found yourself in a similar predicament, let me tell you that you’re not alone. Infidelity is more common than you might think, and the aftermath can be incredibly challenging to navigate. But it’s not the end of the world, and there are steps you can take to heal and possibly rebuild trust.

1. Own Up to Your Actions

First and foremost, it’s crucial to take responsibility for your actions. I get it; nobody likes admitting they’ve messed up, especially when it involves hurting someone they care about deeply. But owning your mistake is the first step towards healing.

Imagine this: You’re playing a game of chess, and you make a move that puts your king in check. You can’t pretend it didn’t happen or blame it on the board; you have to acknowledge it and decide how to respond. In this situation, you’ve got to own up to your infidelity and face it head-on.

2. Communicate Openly

Now, it’s time to sit down and have a real heart-to-heart with your husband. Open communication is key to any successful relationship, but it’s absolutely vital when trust has been shattered.

Start by explaining why you cheated. Was it a moment of weakness? Did you feel neglected in the relationship? Understanding the root cause of your actions can help your husband better grasp the situation.

Imagine this: You’re on a long road trip, and you took a wrong turn. You’re lost, but you have a map, and you know you need to find your way back. Your husband is like your navigator in this scenario. By communicating openly, you’re consulting the map together, figuring out where things went wrong, and how to get back on track.

3. Apologize Sincerely

A heartfelt apology can go a long way in mending a damaged relationship. But remember, saying sorry isn’t enough; you need to show through your actions that you genuinely regret your betrayal.

For instance, you accidentally step on your friend’s foot while dancing. Saying “I’m sorry” isn’t enough; you stop dancing, make sure they’re okay, and maybe even buy them a drink to make amends. In your situation, your apology needs to be backed up by a genuine desire to change and rebuild trust.

4. Give It Time

Healing after infidelity is not an overnight process. It takes time for both you and your husband to come to terms with what happened and work towards rebuilding your relationship. Patience is your ally here.

Healing is like growing a garden. You can’t just plant the seeds and expect them to turn into a beautiful garden overnight. You need to water them, nurture them, and give them time to grow. Your relationship is that garden, and it’s going to take some time for the wounds to heal.

5. Rebuild Trust Slowly

Trust, once shattered, is challenging to rebuild. It’s like a fragile vase that’s been broken into pieces. You can’t simply glue it back together; you need to meticulously piece it back bit by bit.

Imagine you’re carefully reassembling that vase, and each piece represents a small step towards rebuilding trust. Consistency, transparency, and reliability are your glue in this process. Show your husband that you’re committed to making amends by being trustworthy.

6. Seek Couples’ Activities

To reconnect with your husband, engage in activities that you both enjoy. This can help rekindle the spark in your relationship and create positive memories together.

Picture this: You and your husband are on a tandem bicycle ride. At first, it’s a bit wobbly, but as you pedal together, you start to synchronize your movements, and it becomes smoother. Reconnecting in shared activities can be just as satisfying and bonding.

7. Learn from Your Mistakes

Infidelity can be a turning point in your relationship. Use it as an opportunity for growth and self-improvement. Reflect on what led to your actions and what you can do differently in the future to prevent a similar situation.

Think of it like this: You’re a student, and your infidelity is like failing an important test. You don’t want to fail again, so you study harder, seek help when needed, and make sure you’re better prepared next time. In your relationship, this means learning from your mistakes and actively working on being a better partner.

8. Stay Committed

Rebuilding a relationship after infidelity is tough, and there may be setbacks along the way. But don’t give up easily. Stay committed to the process, and remind yourself of the love you share with your husband.

Relationships are like a rollercoaster ride. There are ups and downs, twists and turns, but the thrill is in the journey together. Even when the ride gets bumpy, hold on tight and keep moving forward.

If you find yourself in the heartbreaking situation where your husband seems to hate you because you cheated, remember that there is hope for healing and rebuilding trust. It won’t be easy, but with sincere effort, open communication, and a commitment to change, you can work towards repairing your relationship.

Ready to take the first step towards healing and rebuilding trust in your relationship after infidelity? Click here to access a wealth of resources and practical tips to guide you on this journey.

Click here to access a valuable resource that dives even deeper into the steps discussed in this article. Discover practical tips, real-life stories, and expert insights that can help you navigate the challenging path of healing after infidelity.

Don’t let guilt and regret hold you back. Your relationship deserves a chance at healing, and you deserve a chance at redemption. Click right here to discover the tools and insights that can help you rebuild trust, reconnect with your partner, and ultimately find a path forward together.

Remember, you’re not alone, and there is hope for a brighter future. Take that first step towards healing and click here now.

--

--

Zara Vera

Passionate marriage counselor dedicated to rekindling love and strengthening bonds. Helping couples thrive.