Unqualified

Typing out my thoughts, I transform them into something new. They flourish, extend, develop — theoretically. Practically, my thoughts end up censored, conserved, rephrased so as not to offend… No longer are they the unadulterated ideas I was excited to share in the first place, instead they are watered-down versions on a theme.

Why?

Because I am unqualified.

I can’t talk about politics or war because I don’t know enough of history, current affairs, government or policy.

I can’t talk about poverty because I am comfortable — i.e. I have always had excess.

I can’t talk about racism because I have white privilege.

I can’t talk about feminism because my struggles as a woman are nothing compared to hers.

These are the reasons I don’t talk. These are the reasons I don’t write.

Perhaps this sounds ludicrous to you — of course I can express myself; people with far less education, far less ‘life experience’ do.

I think I hesitate because, for me at least, it comes down to value.

On Value

The relativist in me believes value is in the eye of the beholder. While the article I just read did not have a lasting impact on my psyche, that doesn’t make it worthless. Whether it impacted someone else or was simply fulfilling for the author, therein lies its value. Just because I can’t see it, doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

The question is: what sort of value do I want to contribute?

The times when I feel valuable is when I am proud of what I have produced.

On pride

I feel proud when I effectively communicate my thoughts. Explored, shaped and refined — the material I am most proud of is the work I have crafted.

I feel proud when I engage meaningfully in discussion. Finding and creating connections between thousands of different niches and seemingly separate concepts excites me.

I feel proud when I have, or inspire, moments of oh I get it! and Wow! I love this! Those feelings are unmatched.

So what?

I may not have a degree or lived more than two decades, but I am qualified to be valuable. I am qualified to be proud. I am qualified to have a voice.

And so are you.

So, here’s to our voices — complimenting, critiquing, disagreeing and collaborating. Here’s to a new start on a new Medium. Here’s to us!