9 Practical Tips for Developing a Prayer Habit

I’m Muslim and I don’t pray 5 times a day. Well, at least I didn’t.

It isn’t because of a weakness of faith. I have a very strong sense of spirituality, Muslim identity, and an unwavering belief in God’s will and wisdom. It isn’t because I’m in environments that don’t support it. I grew up in a family that prays regularly and my husband doesn’t miss a prayer.

I’ve promised myself so many times that this would be the time I would finally get it right. Every Ramadan, before the birth of each of my kids, every New Years Eve. Sometimes it would last a few days, maybe a week or two. But despite my best intentions, I was never able to stick to it.

This is embarassing to confess. After all, I’m a 29 year old, hijab-wearing mother of two who works for an Islamic organization of all places. Prayer is such a basic part of Islam — the second of the 5 pillars, the first thing we will be questioned about on the Day of Judgment. But I know I’m not alone in my struggle, even if most people (understandably) don’t admit it.

This Ramadan, I set one very humble goal for myself: becoming a person who prays 5 times a day. Alhamdulillah, by the grace of God, I was able to accomplish what I set out to do. It wasn’t always pretty and it wasn’t always perfect, but I’ve gotten to the point where I feel unsettled without it — which I believe is half the battle.

Here are a few tips I picked up along the way:

1. Understand the importance of prayer

From a very young age, we’re taught that Salah is a cornerstone of Islam. But what’s much less discussed is why prayer is required in the first place. There is an article by Sh. Mohammad Elshinawy from Yaqeen Institute called, “Why Does God Ask Us to Worship Him?” that really helped me understand why worship (including Salah) was prescribed to us. Realizing the wisdom behind the mandatory act gives purpose to it, beyond just “I have to do this because God said so.”

2. Use prayer times as pillars of your daily schedule

Our lives are extremely busy and fast-paced. When you have a million things to do, leaving it all to pray can seem like a disturbance to our productivity. On the contrary, its been scientifically proven that regular prayer or meditation actually increases our concentration power which leads to an increase in productivity.

When scheduling, do it around the prayer times. The same way we use the blocks of morning, noon, afternoon, and evening, use the 5 prayers to create windows in your day. For example, schedule your meeting with Sarah after duhr at 3 pm, workout before Isha or build a to do by Asr list. By breaking up your schedule into these 5 windows, you make prayer a central part of your day; maximizing your brain power and productivity in the process.

3. Make wudu before you leave the house

One of the biggest things that hindered me from keeping up with prayers in the past is wudu. It only takes 1–2 minutes to complete, but the thought of doing it in public is a little daunting, not to mention uncomfortable. Making wudu in the comfort of your own home right before leaving is a good way to skip the “get-stared-at-while-putting-your-foot-in-the-sink” thing and it’s Sunnah! Of course, there will be times when you won’t be able to keep your wudu until the next prayer, but when you can it’s a lifesaver.

4. Be prepared to pray wherever, whenever

In addition to having wudu at all times, keep whatever you need to pray (hijab, prayer rug, etc) on hand and ready so that you can do so at any moment.

Also, if you’re intimidated by the thought of praying in public, try to muster up the courage to do it at least once. I grew up watching and admiring my dad as he prayed in parking lots, corners of restaurants, and sidewalks on busy streets. This Ramadan was the first time I ever prayed openly in public, and I’ll admit I was nervous the entire time. But I felt so empowered afterwards that I felt I could pray anywhere. Facing the fear is the only way to overcome it.

5. Don’t procrastinate

This is one that I’m still struggling with, but really makes all the difference. Don’t wait until the last minute to pray. Download a prayer app or set an alarm and try to make a habit of praying it as soon as the window for it opens. We have so many distractions in our lives that its easy to lose track of time. Being prompt will help you avoid missing prayers.

6. Limit media consumption (at least while building the habit)

I didn’t really intend to cut out music, TV, or social media during Ramadan, but I found that I naturally pulled away from it quite a bit (though not entirely). Just limiting my consumption of it over the past few weeks has made me sensitive to things I had become desensitized to before. I’m not 100% sure if I can attribute building a prayer habit to limited media consumption but the detox felt pretty good and kept me focused.

7. Keep your heart soft

I tried to attend Taraweeh and Qiyam as often as I could this year and it’s given me a feeling of what I can only describe as tenderness of the heart. Of course, Ramadan is a very unique time of year when there is an abundance of spiritually fulfilling content and programming. Outside of Ramadan, attending a weekly class, Friday prayer, volunteer work, reading Quran, listening to lectures, etc. should help nurture that softness inshaAllah.

8. Dont give up on yourself or Allah

I attended a khutbah delivered by Sh. Omar Suleiman last Friday, during which he said that Allah doesn’t lose hope in you until you lose hope in Him. That really hit home for me. No matter how many prayers you miss, no matter how late in life you start trying to work harder on your relationship with Him, no matter how many times you fall off track and then return back to Him, He will never turn His back on us so long as we don’t turn our backs on Him.

By the same token, if God Himself doesn’t give up on us, then how can we give up on ourselves? Miss a prayer? Don’t throw in the towel. Make it up and then pray the next one.

9. Savor the sweetness of it

Prayer used to be a chore for me, and if I’m being honest with myself (and you), I didn’t actually enjoy it the way I saw others did. It was a reminder of all my failed attempts to get it right. But that’s because I was thinking about it the wrong way, which brings us back to tip #1 — understanding why we pray. After I kept up with it for a few weeks, I started to look forward to prayer. It’s my opportunity to drop everything and reconnect with Him, refocus, and realign my priorities.

As Sh. Elshinawy says, “A Muslim is blessed to understand that God loves to be worshipped and obeyed by His creation, not because of a need for validation or servitude, but because He loves to see the benefit we achieve from it. And all praise is due to Allah, the compassionate Lord of all the worlds.”