I’m definitely in. And while I’m not much on labels, “Veteran Line-Crosser” is one that makes me feel pretty good if that’s how I’ve been perceived. (I like it a lot better than “Ally” which is starting to carry a lot of baggage with it, and tends to be self-applied like lipstick or some other fashion accessory.)
So much of what you say here resonates truthfully with my experiences. Especially the part about standing stoically when there’s crazy hate getting spewed. I’ve seen a few of my peers try to engage and cross lines from a position of privilege, and seen them quickly recoil in disgust. And I get it, a lot of it’s really disgusting, even evil. And I don’t blame people who will give evil no quarter in their space — those folks on FB who will de-friend anyone who doesn’t stand up “enough” to their racist relatives, who dissect every statement in the mainstream to point out it’s problematic flaws, like the anti-Tina Fey backlash from #sheetcaking.
But you can’t engage someone whom you dismiss (as evil or problematic). Dismissal of others leads to echo chambers, and engaging in an echo chamber gets no work done. And, damn, do we have work to do.
The only other thing I’d add about why it’s so important for white people to cross lines, to be present and non-judgmental during conversations about race relations, is because that’s the only way to get truly informed about one’s *own* racism. That shit is insidious, we so often don’t realize how our filters of perception are tainting the way we interact with each other. Like you, I’ve seen how, over time, behaviors and attitudes can change. So if, at the end of the day, maybe I don’t get my friend to peel the confederate flag sticker off his truck, but I can get him to understand that it doesn’t stand to everyone for what he thinks it stands for. Or maybe I come away from a conversation understanding more about my own biases. Either way, it’s helping.