It’s Not Beautiful

Warning: this is a sensitive topic not only to me but to most. Do not read any further if you cannot handle touchy topics. Please keep an open mind, thank you.

When you lose a loved one to depression, I think that is what changes. You never realized the little things, and how much they add up. The way they stare into space for a while or how they light a cigarette on the front porch. Back then I could never grasp the concept of death, I always thought it was a natural way of life. The natural way of people passing away, the old age, catching illnesses because of a low immune system. It never occurred to me that other illnesses that stemmed from one’s mind were just as deadly as a gun to the head. No matter how many words I write I know they will not change the past. It wasn’t until a loved one left this Earth did it opened my eyes.

Mental illness is difficult to understand and many will never be able to comprehend what it’s like, but I do know one thing.

Mental illness is not beautiful.

It’s not like makeup, you can’t simply apply depression and then remove it at night before bed. You can’t paint anxiety on your body or draw depression on your skin, mental illness is not a work of art. It doesn’t make people love you more. Don’t tell me you wish you had depression because I’ve seen what it has done to those I love. Mental illness is a disease that attacks the brain, it’s a constant battle between you and your own thoughts. You get tired of the things that you once loved, including people. Mental illness changes you, every day is a war between you and your mind. Stop romanticizing mental illnesses, Mental illness is not beautiful.