A full year of positivity
Or, what may make the difference when working hard is not enough.
While on the phone yesterday with a friend telling me a piece of amazing news, I just realised that I’ve been hearing greats news from others and having beautiful moments myself practically every week for a long time now. With recently graduating, which would’ve been the best thing I could imagine myself doing few years ago, I almost forgot it when a colleague asked me about it today. And it was not that long ago.
This month I was remembered by a friend of mine that one year has passed of something meaningful I did for him. That thing meant so much to him. It occurred to me that that small thing for me back then may be the moment that it all started to change me. It wasn’t a quick change. It wasn’t a linear change. But it was everything I could’ve wished for looking back at it now.
Maybe it all started
with this TED talk I watched about four years ago.
You know how anything worthwhile and substantial takes time for our brain to process and unfold? And then you subconsciously just start doing it without realising it? Well, it sure did for me with this one. That was an amazing talk for me back then. I was ready to go all-in on being deliberately positive just to be a few percentage points better at something. But, as with almost anything back then, I quickly forgot about it, but still watched it maybe once a year.
Watching the video from above today, after all the events of the last year or so, he mentions a few key points that are so clear to me today.
It’s not necessarily the reality that shapes us, but the lens through which your brain views the world that shapes your reality, and if we can change the lens, we change your happiness. — Shawn Achor, the guy from the video
and:
You got good grades, now you have to get better grades, you got into a good school and after you get into a better one, you got a good job, now you have to get a better job. If happiness is on the opposite side of success, your brain never gets there. — Shawn again
There is no need to explain these if you watched the video above. Go watch it now if you haven’t. I know it’s kinda slow for the first five minutes, but they are important. I would add a few more points myself.
Don’t worry too much
I quite often tell this to a friend that she probably already hates me for just saying that, but we often can’t control or have an impact on certain situations. Will me worrying about it make the situation any better?
There are so many things that aren’t worth your time. Hence, there are very few things that are worth worrying about, and even less things that we unconditionally worry for and are worth taking an immediate action no matter what. For most, these are your loved ones.
Yeah, it’s not as easy as it sounds to be chill about most of the things that happen to us daily. It’s something that takes time, not necessarily to learn, but just not to process all of that negativity that we encounter daily. The same goes for watching the daily news with all the bad things that happen around. Yeah, it’s important to stay informed, but not at the cost of our calmness and peace of mind, so why not be clueless sometimes. Also, you’ll have so much more free time if you aren’t worrying about everything.
Enjoy the little things
I didn’t like taking a walk before. Anywhere I went, I would be in a hurry. Today, I take a walk quite often. And I enjoy it, almost as if I’m retired and got nothing to do. The slower, the better (especially during the summer). Funny how things change. Before I couldn’t even imagine it, but now it’s a little thing that means a lot.
If you suddenly start to appreciate and be grateful for the little and ordinary things you encounter every day, whatever they are to you as the individual, you’ll know that you have it. Have what you may ask? Have just enough. Consequently, you’ll be happier than just about everyone who always wants more. I’ll admit, I also quite often want more, but sometimes I forgot about wanting more and realise that I and everybody else around me already have so much (in any form). So enjoy that walk, that sunset, that breakfast that you were making for an extra five minutes because it’s perfect for you. Enjoy conversations with friends and family. You’ll remember some of these moments for years to come.
In conclusion
Happiness is clearly what most people are looking for in life. Why not take the baby step: be positive about and grateful for just a few small things today. Maybe even let someone close to you know they really mean to you a lot as a friend, as a colleague, as someone important. It’ll maybe make their day. Or even cause a chain reaction of something bigger and… positive? 😏
Thanks for reading.
Funny how this story came along. Was thinking about how I should write something regarding this topic for a long time. Then a few good news and deep conversations with many friends came along in a very short period of time which resulted in a long walk thinking about everything. So I found the video above and wrote a few key points before going to bed late and almost forgetting about it. ✌And of course this story again took more than a month to finish. Wrote a few paragraphs immediately one evening and then finished it a few hours a month later. I know, I know.
