What happened to my mind?

Change your mindset to help others change their mindset

Cor van der Velde
Sep 5, 2018 · 5 min read
photo taken by chunjack

Aikido changed my mindset

When I first started training Aikido, I was hesitant and worried. I had already been training in other martial arts before, the thing that held me back for giving everything was a mental block. I looked at my trainer (Sensei) and other students and was thinking sometimes:

  • Can I ever reach this level?
  • What am I doing wrong?
  • Should I quit?
  • Does this work?

Most of the time I was questioning myself and was asking my Sensei if I was doing the technique well. After I reached my 3 kyu (level in Aikido), everything changed. I was not questioning myself anymore. My Sensei noticed and he said that after my 3 kyu exam he saw that I made a good progress.

photo taken by chunjack

So What Happend?

I changed my mindset.

I stopped looking for approval and took responsibility for what I did. No worries anymore about failing.

I was not anymore hesitant and instead committed fully into each exercise.

I let go of all questions and focused on doing the technique and getting good results.

photo taken by chunjack

How Did This Mindset Change Happen?

Maybe wizards, magic or some other secret stuff?

NO, it just happened because I was able to let all the worries go. So “Getting out of my head”. That doesn’t mean ignoring what goes on in it, it simply means not letting it interfere with the present focus of my practice. The great power is knowing how to use your mind, the same way you work on your body.

Everybody knows it takes a lot of energy to keep trying to figure out what someone else wants. So I could have constantly asked my Sensei if I was doing things right, but would that help me or would it confuse me even more?

I had to follow my path, commit to it. Along my path I will make mistakes and I will learn from them.

When my mindset change happened, I found out that there are no boundaries and no approval or permission is needed.

I can see now that I am fully committed in my exercises in Aikido and all the other things I do.

photo taken by chunjack

Why Is A Mindset Change Important?

Changing my mindset helped me become patient, helped me in tough times or when things get confusing, uncertain and too fully commit in whatever I do.

Failure is okay, but not doing something because you are scared to fail is not. Either you do it, or you don’t.

What’s Holding You Back?

Take a look at your own life.

Where are you avoiding full commitment because you are afraid?

How could you make the shift to committing fully?

And if you’re not willing to do that, could you drop that task, goal or activity?

A lot of times we put up safety-mechanisms to protect us from failure, because maybe we didn’t give something our best or we have an excuse.
Maybe we haven’t really failed because we didn’t put everything into it.

If you do something without commitment, you might have failed before you even started.

I would say commit, and go after what you really want.

photo taken by chunjack

What can help to change your mindset?

Again this is not magic. Just some tips.

Surround yourself with positive people

Find people that will inspire you to be a better person, give you motivation to achieve your goals, enable you to make changes you need to succeed and are happy with your success. Some helpful questions you can ask yourself to find them are:

  • After spending time with them do you feel happy did they give you positive energy?
  • Do they make you feel like you have what it takes to reach your goals?

I do not say that you should get rid of people (friends, family, colleagues etc.) who need your support (like when they go thru a hard time), but rather evaluate whether some people are constant draining you and unhealthy.

Read and watch more positive media

A lot of the media on like facebook, tv, etcetera feeds us with negative news because tragedy sells. Does this impact our mindset? Certainly it will impact and it will not allow you an optimal mindset.

Reading and watching more positive media daily will alter your perspective. This does not mean you should not read or watch anything negative media, but taking in more positive media will also change your perspective on how you look on the your world. It is like learning a new language, if you read and listen every day this new language it will stick to your mind. And soon you will be able to speak the language.

Challenge what you are thinking

There are times you start thinking like “Why is everybody blaming me for everything that’s is going wrong”, “This is never going to work”.

When you have a this kind of distorted thoughts, stop and evaluate whether it is correct. You could think about how you would respond if another person spoke that way. You would probably offer a good counterevindence to his or her negative view. Apply the same good counterevindence to your own thoughts. Just ask yourself if you are assuming the worst that can happen or maybe blaming yourself for something that has not gone the way you wanted. Next think about other possible outcomes or reasons that something turned out differently than you hoped.

When your challenging your thoughts, your mindset will start to evolve.

Try to adopt a healthier lifestyle

During the most difficult times bad health can be a major obstacle.

Eat healthier, get enough sleep and doing some exercise everyday (walking, sports you like to do, etc) sets the base for other changes to take place. Gradually your energy levels will go up and you are able handle more.

So what’s holding you back:)

Thanks to Willem-Jan Ageling

Cor van der Velde

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