People go further when they can disconnect objective failure from their sense of identity, and so consequently allow themselves to enjoy challenge for how it actually makes them better. This enables them to enjoy the journey itself, rather than just fixating on the next requirement for OKness.
In contrast, the person who lives a “towards” existence can always feel as though he is achieving as long as he is learning. With this mindset, the very concept of failure is negated. Now, any experience which causes you to grow, can be deemed a success, no matter what the outcome.
It’s as if there’s an invisible line, which if crossed would carry her into the unknown territory of really feeling accomplished. By stepping over that line, the negative belief that got her there in the first place would need to be disproved. She’d have to accept that she isn’t a failure; that she is good enough after all.