My Goal
Different from most students in this 3B course, this is my second year studying in UCSB.I have to admit: my first year spending in this pleasant seaside town was a total nightmare; It’s the worst year I have ever been through in my 18 years old life. Curiosity and excitement of being abroad was soon covered by the fear of being apart from my family. I had difficulties in reading, listening, communicating… I am afraid of making friends or even just starting a conversation with any strangers. Bad luck has covered all aspects of my life, and all I can do is to hide in my little dorm and play video games, so that I can forget the pain of being alone. But eventually, things became out of control, I was tortured by a serious problem of depression and had to give up most part of my academic life. I accepted treatment to decrease my inclination of suicidal, and the only thing I do for the whole day is to cry.
Luckily, my mental problem has been totally cured during the summer vacation. When being back here as a second year UCSB student, I felt like I have much more power to face those loneliness and challenges. I began to make friends and pick up my academic life. However, what I have experienced in my first year still influenced me: it made my goal for this year somehow different from other students.
Most students chose high GPA as their goal. Undeniable, a better GPA can also be one of my important goal. Since my first year was busy fighting the illness and had to drop most of the classes, to have a better GPA and finish more courses undoubtly means a lot to me.But besides academic life, there is something else which I would like to chase.
I used to accept treatment in CAPS during my first year: every week I meet with my counselor and talk to her about my condition. She was a kind and pretty women from Taiwan who always treated my with such a patience and kindness. She listened carefully to every word I say, and always reply me with usable suggestions. I could get rid of the problem of depression without her help. My own experience in CAPS let me realized that how helpful this organization can be to students lives, and when I finally conquered the illness, I decided to became one of them.
It can be really easy for international students to face huge challenges in university. Living in a brand-new environment and have to accept education in another language, it’s hard to imagine the pressure they have on their shoulders. Massive pressure eventually led to mental problem, which makes mental illness such as depression and anxiety became so normal among international students. In this year, I joined a CAPS group of supporting for mandarin speakers: although I am no longer a person with depression, I feel like I have the responsibility to help those who are struggled in the problem which I have been through, and that has became a crucial goal of my second year in college. I decided to help those people who are struggled in the same dilemma which I have been through. Although I am not a psychology major, and all I know about those mental problem is my own experience, but I will still try my best to fulfill this goal.
