I used to believe

Before University

• It’s almost impossible to get me angry since NS, many have tried but I often still ends up smiling after like 5 seconds as some people says.
• A good 3–4 years local university degree is very important in the Singapore job market. I heard this from my sister and stubbornly held on to the belief that it’s my only path.
• I need to work first to prove to myself that I could survive in the workplace, otherwise surviving in university is impossible.
• SMU is a place where everyone in my faculty will be much more gifted than me in programming. I will struggle and learn a lot of technical skills from my SIS peers.
• Everyone is weak at something, help them genuinely as you would want others to help you when you struggle.
• If you are sincere enough, you will get others to open up and resolve all ill feelings or misunderstandings. Nobody intentionally sets out to hurt others after all. I had regrets in my previous experiences and I do not want to repeat them. It’s fine to take any blame too if it resolve issues.
• I must make the best use of my time in university so as not to disappoint the teachers who believed in me and also to myself. Who wouldn’t want to enjoy their last 4 years of school?
• Time will reveal it all.

Now

• It’s amazing how I could retain so much constant anger at some injustices for so long, not able to halt it despite my best efforts. It seems any choice I take would make me feel bad in this situation.
• I still think university life is important. However, university prestige is overrated. Any proper university would do actually, especially an overseas one for exposure. A shorter 1.5 — 2 years degree would be more ideal too. It is what you do in your own spare time that matters for your career.
• Don’t delay university to work if you can. With some exceptions, you lose a lot by working first
• Regardless of the circumstances in which you have helped someone in their time of need, nobody cares to remember actually. Everyone still judges you at the slightest gossips by a friend she interacts more with, or by that seemingly strange behaviour of yours without bothering to find out from you if there could be deeper reasons behind it.
• People can be egregiously evil and manipulative. There are no good reasons for what they did and why they lie, and that’s just the way they are. It’s a tough reality to accept.
• Stress really changes you into a different person beyond recognition, aged a lot with a different personality.
• Time doesn’t reveal the truth to others, it is up to you actually.
• I underestimated myself, I overestimated myself too.
• It’s easy to lose sight of who your are and your aims for university in the midst of some highly confusing episodes, I’m starting to come back and I hope it will become clearer to me.

Goodbye bully (euphemism), goodbye SMU, you may have been a good university for me had I not met some particular people. I can’t get back these 4 precious years of youth, so the next best thing is to look forward to leaving and enjoy life to catch up. I will not miss commencement when it comes.