The essence of truth
We spin in the mix like a weighted essence, carried on tides in the setting sun, we sink into the mire of another day that slipped away forgotten.
Prints that lingered for only a moment, like these thoughts that get washed away in a dementia-like state, there and lucid, then gone and lost in the haste to remember. You are here with the soul I carry, ghost-like and invisible, yet so very present. I asked you for guidance, teach me the truth of the moments I run from, and you sat silently and peered at the sun as it set down like a rocket. To see, to really see something beyond what was perceived, that was the driving need. To see Truth in all of its brutal triumphant glory.
The pain cuts through like the sharpest of chef knives, trimming this and that like an expert surgeon, knowing exactly where to dive in, to lift the thought so that I may sit and stare at it, pondering its truth. Knowing as the night fades away, the swirling water washing over my feet, cooling and soothing. You pick me up then, carry me deeper into where the fears reside, to where the darkness sits in shadows. I know it, I feel it vibrating through my very essence, yes, the soul quivering in its fear of not being enough, of not strong enough to carry this weight. Though I knew it seemed lighter, I was not sure at the time exactly why.
I had forgotten, I had turned my back on the silent core of being that held the pieces together like a jigsaw puzzle that was glued at the edges, hung on a wall to prove that nothing was missing, that the picture was truly complete. It was unnecessary, this tribute, this decoration. I had let go the most important Truth. That you were always there, though never seen, a part of my whole that I had let slip away so very long ago. In your silence you taught me, the right of holding tight the secrets, to not harm another in my need to release. I did not need to do anything, for it was just a moment in a speck of this time. It would not be my definition, for you are my definition. You are my all and it is enough. This is my truth. This is my love I gave to myself.
I let go of the yesterdays, moved on without the suitcase of why me’s, the bitterness of the inability to save the bit of my soul lost and walked head held high to the road that stood so high. In my silence I save, I do not share and create more pain. There had been enough already. The Truth was, it was time to let go.