The root of the problem

About 1 week ago, I was watching my favorite series and there was a moment when psychologist asked his patient to think about the root of her problem. The main reason for that was — no one can solve his/her problem unless he or she understand the very first time when it appeared to exist or the root of the problem. This forced me to think about my problem. I tried to play every moment in my life when I was supposed to perform or have a speech in order to find out starting point.

I tried to call to my mind everything step by step in chronological order. Therefore,this photo is an evidence of my self — confidence in early childhood when I was proposing a toast :) As you can see from the photo, I look happy and relaxed even if everybody was looking at me.

let’s go further

Here is a letter of thanks that I was given in the fifth form for good performance. This paper supports the fact that I was good at public speaking at the age of 11.

What happened? When did I start being shy in front of the public?

After long hours of thinking about that, I called to my mind one bad performance that I experienced in 6 or 7 form. It was an English week in our school and students were supposed to tell poems in English on the stage. I remember that I failed. I forgot every line of my poem:(

The most surprising thing is that even now I remember first lines:

“I wonder why the grass is green,

And why the wind is never seen?

Who taught the birds to build a nest,

And told the trees to take a rest?”

Now I realize — that bad experience was my starting point. From that moment, whenever I am on the stage I feel fear. I think I can forget everything.

Now I understand that it is silly to give up only because once you have failed. Every defeat makes me closer to the biggest success. So that, I will keep on trying :)