“This struck me as insane.
Insane because he could not tell the difference between idle fantasy and actual longing, between window shopping and shopping shopping.”
Obviously there is also a difference between fantasizing about sex and having sex. So is what Hugh Hefner accomplished with Playboy (confusing fantasy with reality) the same thing advertisers have done with consumers to create our nightmarish society of idle consumption? Do the starvation wage workers toiling away in overseas factories “…suffer for the entertainment or pleasure of others?”
This may seem a little far afield, but I raise it because I think the parallels show that the issue you so eloquently address (e.g. “This has the effect of detaching men from cognitively recognizing women as fully realized, fully autonomous human beings.”) are maybe not as gender specific as they might seem.