AOC’s Speech Reflects a Dangerous Trend of Nationwide Sexism
Men’s outbursts are “passionate”, but women’s? Over-emotional.
Every woman will have an experience like what happened to Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez this week, when a fellow congressperson, Rep. Ted Yoho, referred to her as a “f — ing b*tch” as she left the nation’s Capitol building after casting her vote in the 2020 election. Preceding these events, Rep. Yoho had accosted her less vulgarly, calling her “disgusting” and “out of her mind”.
Yoho’s major mistake in this situation was expressing these feelings about Rep. Ocasio-Cortez in front of reporters, who did what reporters do and let the world know about what had happened.
However, despite evidence from both Rep. Ocasio-Cortez and the press present during this time, Rep. Yoho’s plan for his public statement regarding the events at the Capitol building contained the steps necessary for any classic non-apology: deflection, denial, and excuses.
Rep. Yoho made it clear the only apology he would offer for his actions was one for the “misunderstanding” both on the parts of Rep. Ocasio-Cortez and the press, and stated he would not be apologizing “for my passion, or for loving my God, my family, and my country.” So, to summarize, he was sorry she heard him, not that he had insulted her.
Rep. Ocasio-Cortez’s response was, to say the least, measured, calm, strong, and extremely well-thought out. Her message, summarized, was that Rep. Yoho defending himself by citing himself as a husband and father, did not dismiss his actions toward herself or any other woman he would say these words to. A quote to succinctly summarize this was “Having a daughter does not make a decent man, have a wife does not make a man decent.”
Clearly, this speech was full of passion and made for a great example of what any good speaker would hope to do when put in Rep. Ocasio-Cortez’s situation. However, this response still received criticism, especially from conservatives, for being too whiny, overly-emotional, and self-victimizing. Their over-arching claim was that stuff like this happens all the time, and she should just get over it.
Now isn’t it ironic when the very same people who would defend Rep. Yoho for his passion would criticize Rep. Ocasio-Cortez for hers? The only difference in these two situations was the presenter, one a man and the other a woman.
A reception like this reflects one of the most common issues facing women today. Passion in speeches, or even just simple conversations, is received much more positively from men than it is from women. Take an orator like Theodore Roosevelt, for example. His speeches won entire crowds over with their emotion and strength. But if a woman were to deliver one of his speeches, a large portion of the response would be negative.
Instead, women are expected to resort to other forms of expression for their passions. Even female presidential candidates are expected to apologize for any emotional nature to their speeches, for fear of being branded as whiny and bossy. Meanwhile, our current president isn’t criticized by his supporters for mocking protesters at his rallies with demeaning, childish language.
There’s still a double standard between when it comes to communication and gender. Men are expected to be forceful, passionate and bold. Women who choose to communicate in a similar fashion are criticized for being strident, shrill or worse.
The blatant hypocrisy shown by critics of Rep. Ocasio-Cortez and supporters of President Trump is an issue that must be acknowledged, and isn’t just limited to politics. This sexism goes deep down, permeating to school environments, workplaces, online communities, and any other situation that allows for a mixture of men and women in their groups.
In these situations, women are more often to be mocked, ignored, or harassed for any show of strong emotions, whether it’s a speech, an argument, or a real debate.
A simple fix? Men need to both reflect upon their own actions and the actions of men around them. Women should not feel the need to apologize for being just as forceful in their speech as men are, and there are a few easy things to avoid that can make a woman feel heard and respected, rather than ignored.
These simple things are as follows: avoiding referring to women as demeaning words, such as “sweetheart” and “honey”, avoiding interrupting women while they speak, not smirking at, laughing at, or jeering women while they make emotionally-charged statements, not dismissing women’s emotions as “hormones” or her period, and not choosing to ignore a woman because she was emotional in her message.
