Alpha Love

Love is hard. It’s even harder after you read about a hot alpha male that takes care of the heroine’s every need. You know the ones in romance novels that we drool over. Their perfect sculpted bodies and chiseled jawlines make us swoon and the way they hover over their women making sure they are protected and loved makes us look at our men and well…many times they just don’t measure up.

Maybe they have a dad bod while you work your ass off everyday, or maybe they haven’t taken you out for a romantic evening in forever.

But what about when they do?

If you’re lucky, maybe once in a lifetime you’ll come across someone who could grace the cover of a romance novel (hey whether he makes the cover only in your eyes or all the ladies are checking your man out doesn’t matter). This male rocks your world. He’s handsome, attentive, was ready to commit after dating a only a few months and loves you unconditionally. He puts up with your bitchy moments, when you talk too much and is patient with you when you’re having a shitty day and all you want to do is vent.

But of course your perfect romance novel cover man isn’t exactly perfect. He’s got his own quirks too.

So how do you navigate your steamy romance novel alpha male’s, well…humanity?

  1. Check your ego at the door.

Seriously. Smart people are shit at this and it sucks. You aren’t better than anyone else and no matter how pretty and smart you are if you aren’t nice than you will die a lonely sad life. Even if someone puts up with your shit and loves you despite you being an asshole you are still lonely because you really only love yourself.

Full disclaimer? I am this person, but I’m working on it. You know why I’m working on it? Because I have a gorgeous romance novel worthy man at my side and I’m not stupid enough to be a shitty person for long enough to lose him.

2. Show compassion.

Brave handsome burley men need love, but they need compassion and empathy too. They are the men that people turn to in a fight, an emergency or for protection. But they are also the ones that are kept an eye on by bouncers, they get their eyes rolled at by nerd boys just for going to the gym and are the men that police automatically assume are trouble makers because they are big and tough looking.

So show them compassion when they complain about getting pulled over by the police for going to fast, when they are too tired from working hard outside to listen to you bitch about your cushy office job, and when they are a big baby when they are sick take care of them without giving them grief about how women tough it out with a smile.

Because guess what? These are the same men that hold the door open for you, won’t let you walk on the outside of the sidewalk, that take care of you when you are sick and will make you smile even on your worst days.

3. Trust

This is a hard one for all relationships I think. Trust is earned over time, it’s true. But sometimes even time doesn’t earn trust, sometimes it takes a leap of faith. You have to have faith in your man to do the right thing, to make decisions that are right for both of you. Have faith that he can take care of the kids on his own, be in charge of his career, find the right balance of work and play time. For gods sakes, have faith in him that he can change his own starter or drive in the snow. Because he is a man and needs to feel like one, especially being an alpha male. Having a woman undermine him and make him feel as if he’s not trusted to do the simple things in life will chip away at his self confidence and reduce your romance novel worthy male down to a shell of a man.

So put your faith in your man which will automatically turn into trust. Even if he fails, continue to put your faith in him, because it is your job to lift him up just like he does with you.

4. Submit

Umm. What? Yes, you heard me correctly ladies. This is not a BDSM article about love and relationships, those you can find on my Tumblr. But similar rules apply to dating an alpha romance novel worthy male. They need you to submit to their will. They are in charge all day long at work and want nothing more than to come home to a loving woman whom they can trust not to bust their balls as soon as they walk in the door. They don’t want to argue with you about who’s turn it is to do the dishes, or where you should go to dinner. Not to say you can’t have an opinion, but there opinion should matter more because honestly they are need the win more than we do.

Most of all, they want you to look at them with love and loyalty and even if you aren’t bowing at their feet, they need you to bow down with your soul. You treat them like a king, and they will treat you like the queen you are.

Wait girl, I make as much/more money than my man even if he is an alpha male! I also make decisions all day at work and then come home and run the household. I am a liberal progressive woman that can open her own goddamn door and don’t need a man to tell me what to do!

Guess what? Me too! I also have more education than my romance novel man, and have better perks at work and potential to make more money. But guess what? None of that matters. Do not use these things against him, instead put aside the idea that any of that matters when measuring up your man because it doesn’t.

Remember, this man loves you unconditionally and would walk on fire for you.

So show him the same respect and bow down to him. You are equal, it’s true, but you are not the same and do not need the same things as he does. He needs you to give yourself to him for the very reason that you are a strong, independent successful woman and sees him as the most important thing in your life.

Notice ladies that submitting comes after trust.

So that wraps up my advice on treating an alpha male like the king he is and hopefully it will help someone avoid some of the mistakes I’ve made in my relationships with the males in my love life.