Black hair, amber eyes and yellow face, Wang Yufen was sitting face-to-face with Paul who possesses brown hair, blue eyes and white face. Paul is Yufen’s second boyfriend from now on. Paul has been Yufen’s friend since she arrived at Melbourne and started to be a nursing student here. It was not first time for Yufen to live overseas. She reminisced her life in British. Yufen will not live overseas if she never met her first peppy love, a man named Mike who is a New Zealander. Mike first met Yufen in Harbin, Heilongjiang province, 2005. In that year, she was already 25 years old who was regarded as a “leftover woman” under Chinese traditional concept.
Yufen said, “I have never fallen in love with anyone even Mike, I have no feeling about this western face at first sight.” But she denied her first expression on Mike when he sent an e-mail to her which provided a new angle for Yufen to understand him. Yufen has described her feelings about Mike like this, “I met him at a book store, during those days, I was addicted to learning English. I thought it was destiny or a fortune to meet a western person, and we talked with each other couple of words. However, I didn’t hold special feelings about this man until he sent an e-mail to me which made me think he is a traditional man who is different from most western people media have shaped.” What Yufen has meant was to explain that she would accept someone’s love without considering his nationality, wealthy or not, or his age, but she would like to choose someone who has a kind personality and traditional concept about relationship.
Referring to her first love with a white, it seems difficult to mask her regret about this broken love. Finally, they quarrelled like every couples do. She sipped black tea as gentle as a British lady. She was wearing a very 60s hair style, like a quiet fair lady from a painting. And then Yufen broke silence, “ Why we broke up? too young, too simple, you know, always naive. We were too selfish without considering each other’s true feeling. We lived in our own spiritual world without wise listening to each other’s inner voice. Maybe, after decade, when I experienced a lot with year after year, I shall be more considerable and patient.” They broke up after Mike went back to New Zealand by reason of his hotel managing career.
Another girl named Wang Jie who is also from China, now is studying tourism management in USA. She built up a relationship with a white man recently. She said that she always felt lonely although she was loved by someone who manifested as a gentleman. She was gradually experiencing cultural assimilation in USA. On the one hand, she started to agree that life is too short to enjoy, but on the other hand, she had to face culture shock. In her traditional concept, starting a relationship aims to go into marriage, and being happy with managing a home. However, marriage is more like a form rather than a combination.
Although Wang Jie felt happy and excited with her western boyfriend, she cannot escape sense of unsafe when her Chinese parents worried about her marriage and home in future. As her parents thought, almost Chinese youth range from 19 to 29 years old were born under one child policy. So if young people will not choose a wife or husband forever or if they missed the best time for marriage and giving life to baby, their family tree may stopped forever which cannot be understand and accepted by all normal Chinese parents.
Wang Jie is a girl who can be considered as a “leftover lady” in Chinese because of her current age. She rumoured, “I am afraid to talk about this topic with my parents, and unfortunately, my boyfriend is too young, under western cultural background, to get married as soon as possible. I’d like to show my respect to my dear lover, and I don’t want to hurt my parents as well, I feel isolated when I think about this dilemma.” She was drown in deep mediation with watery eyes. Silence was suffused in the air. She is hesitating whether to break up and to find a man who agrees almost eastern culture. Actually, in addition to cultural difference, difference of life style and habit is another problem in their daily life. For example, they experienced differently for over 10 years, so their tastes on music, TV shows and books are quite different. “When we talked about these topics, only silence produced in silent communication.” Wang Jie says, “ and I have a Chinese stomach, he has a USA stomach. We often have dinner separately, sometimes we will sit at table together to enjoy a banquet or luxury French dish to celebrate our weekends.”
No wonder she feels lonely sometimes! The situation won’t be worse for Yang Siyu. He is so independent that he can totally accept his French girl friend. Actually, he is a man who will not be discussed and gossiped by most of Chinese by reason of getting married late. Its sexual discrimination pretended to be normal morality in China. Not all Chinese young man can accept all western concept, but Siyu did very well in re-shape his attitudes in culture, morality, life and love. Personality is the decisive element. In her arms, he became someone else, a graceful and gentle boy who never exists. He has had to be an independent gentleman since he was 14 years old, a real man who can only be destroyed but not defeated. His French girl friend loves him very much.
He is a typical Asian look for his Aussie classmates, however, he thinks as Aussies do, compared with his Chinese friends. He is not “ABC” (Australian born Chinese), but he has to face same awkward predicament as “ABCs” do. Siyu came to Australia from since he was 14 years old. He has voiced that he has no friends from China, as one of new immigrants, he used to play with Aussies and other new immigrants rather than international students from China. Now he is 24 years old, 10 years living in Melbourne. “I can live alone very well, but everyone needs love, I always feel lonely until she appears. She is cheerful and happy all the time, and her smile always expels my sorrow. When she smiles, I feel warm of sunshine. I am obsessed with her vigour.” Siyu expressed.
“Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” — — Anna Karenina. Hope every couple can finally go into marriage, not only maintain a lover relationship. After all, no one do not like to built up a family with the one he or she loves. With the frequency of intercultural communication, both western and eastern people can understand each other. When love exists, other problems can be solved with lovers’ endeavour. True love will be examined by time. Sometimes, there are rumours about love across nations that some eastern people choose a western person because she or he wants to get permanent residence or some western people choose an eastern person because she or he is curious about weird culture. Hope everyone can find his or her soul mates and true love, without any prejudice about culture, colour, nation and even gender.