Self Validation and God’s Validation: The only forms of validation you need.
“The principal problem we face in the social arena is our naive tendency to project onto people our emotional needs and desires.”
Wait, stop right there. Should we rewind? Read again? Internalize? Read out loud? Yes.
That’s was my initial reaction to the above quote by Robert Greene.
It made me pause and reflect about how many times we step out into the world seeking approval and validation from others. And most importantly, what can we do to fix that?
So I looked up a list of emotional needs and desires that we might sometimes project, and a parallel solution that comes from a place of knowing that the only person that should validate you is yourself and God.
So, here goes:
What you ask of others: “Reassure me!”
Positive action to take : Reassure yourself. Build your own self esteem.
What you ask of others: “Just ‘love’ me more!”
Positive action to take: Loosen your death grip, sweetheart. Let go.
What you ask of others: “Reassure me I’m perfect.”
Positive action to take: Understand and accept that there is no perfect.
What you ask of others: “Tell me I’m not flawed!”
Positive action to take: Understand that you are, and accept yourself with love.
What you ask of others: “Like me!”
Positive action to take: Like yourself.
What you ask of others: “Accept me.”
Positive action to take: Accept yourself.
Expecting other to validate our existence is not what we should be doing. We alone are responsible for understanding and accepting our selves and experiences and being confident and content with who we are and where we at.
Keep in mind, that God has a superior and loving view of who we are and we can live to our fullest potential by accepting how God sees us and seeking intimacy with him more than projecting our needs and desires on others.