The Letter You’ll Never Get To Read

As an 8 year old I was very happy and energetic kid. At the time I couldn’t wait to grow up. Someday I’d get my license and my parents would be so proud of me, someday I’d graduate and my parents & family would be there, someday I’d play in my first college soccer game and my parents would be there to cheer me on. As an 8 year old I thought my parents would be there for everything. I had so many hopes and dreams and my parents would be there by my side through every single part of it.

As an 8 year old I was woken up by my mom screaming. I had no clue what was going on but I knew something was wrong. My mom just told me to stay in my room. So I just sat & waited in my room having no clue that soon my world would come crashing down. My mom called me downstairs and told me to sit down. I sat down and I heard 2 words that affect my life and will continue to. Those 2 words that came out of my moms mouth were “Daddy’s dead.” As an 8 year old I experienced one of the worse pains I’ll probably ever experience.

The pain of you never truly goes away. I guess you could say that I just get better and better at hiding it from the world and mostly myself. There been this empty space in my heart that I can never seem to fill and after a little while I realized that that emptiness will never go away. I don’t remember the sound of your voice anymore or the warmth & unexplainable feelings of your big hugs. I never took the time to tell you how much I loved you and how much I cared for you but losing a parent never really crosses your mind when you’re so young. I wish I could of got to say goodbye to you but you were taken unexpectedly and way too soon.

Many people will say that you’re just a memory now but you’re so much more than that. You’re in the sky when it’s cloud free and blue as ever, you’re in the big gust of wind that sends chills through my body but makes me feel like I’m not alone anymore, and you’re always in my heart.