It’s Just Facebook

The Journey of Vashon Compliments

Palmer (left) and Ryan (right). The two boys who’s deaths made me want to spread love in the Vashon community. They were kind, friendly, and hopeful, and they would have wanted us to continue to be that way, even after they were gone.

No 14-year-old should feel so desperate and alone that he shoots himself. But Palmer did. No 17-year-old should have to see his best friend’s car wrapped around a tree. But Ryan’s friend did. And high school students should never have to go to two classmate’s funerals within months of each other. These things should never happen, but they did during four months of my sophomore year.

After Palmer and Ryan died, many of us realized we left much unsaid. The chance to let them know that we cherished their friendships was gone. The two deaths differed, but they affected our school in similar ways; we all lost treasured friends. Although now I couldn’t tell Palmer and Ryan how I felt about them, I didn’t want to miss that chance with my friends who were still here.

But some of us don’t have the courage for such intimacy; it can be hard to tell people we care. If only there was some way to anonymously express your feelings. I decided to create a way. It was time for Vashon Island High School, a rural island community in Washington State where your only access to the city is by ferry, to have its own “compliments” Facebook page.

The idea of compliment pages wasn’t new. Although they were growing in popularity, they were mostly restricted to college campuses. I knew about these pages from my involvement in the national Debate circuit and its Debate Compliments page, so I understood how they worked.

To submit a compliment you privately message the Facebook page with the words you want to express and the name of the intended recipient. In turn, the page creator posts it and notifies the recipient. Only the page creator knows who authored the compliment. Once posted, other members can “like” it and leave comments.

It was time to get started. I designed a profile picture with our school logo and moniker, wrote an “About Me” to explain its purpose, and outlined the submission process. Then I set the privacy boundaries so no one could trace the page back to me. Finally, I sent friend requests —to everyone at the high school.

Although I had no idea what to expect, in the first few days after it launched I knew I had made the right decision. During that first week, Vashon Compliments became so popular that I had to recruit someone to help me keep up with the volume of submissions. Many people commented on the value of the page including one who wrote: “What you’re doing is inspirational, and you have been very successful in spreading the love this community has needed.”

Sophomore year was hard for me. After everything that happened at the beginning of the school year, I felt as though I had no control over my life. I felt scared and helpless, and struggled with depression, self-harm, and suicidal urges. But Vashon Compliments gave me a reason to keep going. It showed me that the world isn’t such a dark place, that there is more than sadness and loss; indeed the world is full of love and hope.

I continue to manage Vashon Compliments. This page has shown me that my community is accepting; people care about each other. I’ve even noticed friends opening up and sharing their feelings “off the page.” Often popular culture shows teenagers who are relentlessly vicious to each other. Bullying is a serious problem, but the reality is that the majority of teenagers are genuinely kind people who may not have the tools to express their feelings. That’s why pages like Vashon Compliments need to exist. Teenagers need a place to counteract these stereotypes. Once I move on, I won’t let the page end.

Through the whole time I’ve managed Vashon Compliments I’ve kept my identity a secret. I believed that telling people I ran the page would lead to questions about submissions, and would prevent people from opening up. However, now I’m “coming out” and revealing who I am. My name is Zoey Salsbury, and I started Vashon Compliments. I believe it’s my duty as I graduate to thank you, my community, for the faith you put in me by sending me your hopes and dreams for your friends, your crushes, and more. Thank you for trusting me, and thank you for giving so much back to me in return. I love you Vashon High School.

This past week I passed the “leadership baton” onto a younger student who also will remain anonymous as the page manager. In this way Vashon Compliments will continue to provide a place for teens to promote kindness, a gift that will stay with us long after high school graduation.