A Semi-Autobiographical Playlist

Zoë Marissen
Sep 9, 2018 · 16 min read

I make a lot of playlists. It’s kind of my thing. Not that I’m known as the playlist person or I’m the designated DJ or anything, but any time I start to listen to music I make it into a playlist. I listen to playlists that I’ve made way more often than I listen to whole albums. So I decided to make a playlist by way of introduction; rather than writing an autobiography I made an autobiographical playlist. For the sake of the people reading this I narrowed it down to 50 songs, but there’s also a full, uncut playlist (links to these playlists on spotify at the bottom). Even the full version is incomplete, but making it much longer than 14 hours would just be excessive.

I realized while revising this that most of the things on this list are pretty mainstream, but despite what my middle school self would say I’m not ashamed of that. Things become mainstream because they’re good and people like them, not necessarily because they’re dumbed down or anything negative. I feel like the deep indie cuts that I listen to are things I like, but they’re not like all time favorites.

The availability of things on Spotify also dictated things a little. For instance the only reason several tracks from Acidrap aren’t on here is just because it’s not on spotify. Chance the Rapper in general is underrepresented on this list, so I’m talking about him here. Same with Kathleen Hanna, I only put one Bikini Kill song on here when really I love all of her bands/projects. Also Neutral Milk Hotel, they should really be on here somewhere. But I’ll stop talking about what’s missing so that we can get into what’s here.

The songs are arranged alphabetically by artist because that’s how I make playlists, I pick a vibe or category and then browse by artist to pick things that fit that vibe until I get to the bottom of the list. (IWHTPJO/T = It was hard to pick just one/two).

  1. Highway to Hell — AC/DC: I used to listen to this on the bus to school in middle school. My parents found this hilarious. I could go on about how awful middle school was but I think the song choice speaks for itself.
  2. Back to Black — Amy Winehouse: IWHTPJO. Amy Winehouse was popular when I was still in my internalized-misogyny-I-don’t-listen-to-music-by-women phase, so once again I was late to this party. But I’m so glad I arrived because Amy Winehouse is amazing, and Back to Black (the album) is like top five material for me. This song has a great rolling rhythm throughout the whole song, and the lyrics are heartbreaking, especially if you’ve seen the documentary about her and know exactly what they mean. In college I tried so hard to do the winged eyeliner look work for me just like Amy, but really I just looked like that one chick from Blade Runner.
  3. Everybody (Backstreet’s Back) — The Backstreet Boys: I was just the right age when the Backstreet Boys became popular for me to love them without it being embarrassing. I was just too young to know better. I was talking to my brother recently and we were like damn, we used to make mom and dad listen to this shit. I don’t feel that bad about it though, because this songs fucks.
  4. Across the Universe (Naked Version) — The Beatles: IWHTPJT. This one made the list because when I heard the naked version it made me rethink the way I listen to The Beatles. Before, listening to The Beatles was all about what memories the song brought up for me, and usually it was about my family. But when I heard this version I actually thought about the music and lyrics, so I started listening to all of them like that. It sounds cheesy, but it was kind of like listening to it for the first time.
  5. Something — The Beatles: This song makes me think of my mom. Not because she attracts me like no other lover, but because I know she loves this song and she’s a beautiful person. We’ve sang along to it together in the car a couple times and it’s always been a good and healing time.
  6. Get Me Away from Here I’m Dying — Belle & Sebastian: IWHTPJO. This was a high school song, similar to Highway to Hell but a little less drastic. One of the many things I love about Belle and Sebastian are their lyrics. They write a lot about introverted people who prefer to live in stories, so if you know me you can understand why I’m drawn to that.
  7. Rebel Girl — Bikini Kill: To be honest the Bikini Kill song I wanted to use was Suck My Left One, but that wasn’t on Spotify so I went with this one because Sarah Marcus writes about it really well in her book Girls to the Front, which is one of my favorite books. But Suck My Left One was the first Bikini Kill song I ever heard, and I immediately fell in love with Kathleen Hanna. It was while I was reading Girls to the Front for a class I was taking at a summer program at Barnard. I kind of hated the summer program but this class made it all worth it. The teacher was this super cool former Riot Grrrl who let us make zines and talk about music the whole time. It was formative.
  8. Opera Singer — CAKE: IWHTPJO. I’ve gone through several huge CAKE phases, to the point where I have more than one CAKE t-shirt. I chose this song because it’s the first song on the first album of theirs I owned, the album that got me into the band. I like to sing along to CAKE because my voice is deep and sounds kind of like John McCrea’s. At least in my head it does.
  9. Just Like Heaven — The Cure: For a couple months one fall/winter I had this horrible cashier job in my hometown. I could go on for a while about all the reasons it sucked, but that would just take forever, be boring, and upset me. So I’ll keep it to this: the music they played wasn’t bad, it’s just that they played the same playlist every single day. This song was on it and it was one of my favorites, and it made me think of The Cure as more than just the band that did Friday I’m in Love.
  10. Moonage Daydream — David Bowie: IWHTPJT (it was hard to pick just two). This was the serious test, whittling down the David Bowie. This one made the list because it’s in the movie School of Rock, which is a movie that totally changed my taste in music. Before this movie is was mostly the Backstreet Boys and whatever my parents played around the house, but after this it was all classic rock.
  11. Rock n’ Roll Suicide — David Bowie: This one makes the list because it’s a great teen-angst-you’re-not-alone song. When I was a teenage I even designed a tattoo around some of the lyrics, but probably thankfully I never got that tattoo. I still have the piece of paper I designed it on though, which might be the only thing I’ve made that qualifies as fan art.
  12. Big Me — Foo Fighters: IWHTPJO. This was the first song I learned how to play on bass. I was never a serious bass player, and I really only ever learned tabs not actual notes, but it was something I enjoyed. I think the thing I miss most about playing instruments is the feeling of getting a piece completely right for the first time while you’re practicing. Learning stuff was always a little frustrating, but frustrating in a good way. And then once you get it right and you keep constantly getting it right, it’s really fun to play.
  13. Ghosting — Freelance Whales: IWHTPJO. This whole album is pretty great, and it’s one of those albums that’s best to listen to all the way through like one song. I picked this song because I love songs with a crazy dynamic shift in the middle. More on that later.
  14. Lust for Life — Iggy Pop: This is one of the only songs I would dance to alone in my room in high school. Like that’s not a thing that I do very often or really at all but I’d do it to this song. It’s one of my ultimate pump up songs, partly because it reminds me of the that one scene (is it the opening scene?) in Trainspotting where they’re running down the streets getting chased by the cops and drugs are falling out of their pockets.
  15. Fire — The Jimi Hendrix Experience: IWHTPJO. This is one of the only songs that makes me wish I could play the drums. I really love the drum part of this song. I went through a pretty huge Jimi Hendrix phase in middle school; I even read a biography on him just for fun.
  16. All My Friends — LCD Soundsystem: My friends in college and I would listen to this song a lot sophomore year. Either we were stoned or we felt a really deep connection to each other while we were listening to it. I like to think both are true.
  17. Immigrant Song — Led Zeppelin: IWHTPJO. VERY hard to pick just one Led Zeppelin song. But they didn’t quite rank high enough to get more than one. I went with the Immigrant song because of that one scene in School of Rock where they all sing it in the van after conning their way into battle of the bands. I love that scene and I love this song. I still do.
  18. Lessons Learned — Matt and Kim: The video I made that got me into Emerson was a music video set to this song. I was going through a big Matt and Kim phase and this best matched what I was trying to do. It’s still probably my favorite Matt and Kim song, but I don’t listen to it nearly as often as I do other ones.
  19. Wild Sage — The Mountain Goats: IWHTPJT. VERY HARD to narrow down my Mountain Goats selections. The first draft of this playlist had an entire album on it. But this is one of my favorites both because of the mix of the soft guitar and piercing piano, and also some of the lyrics. When I was really depressed, the lyric, “Some days I think I’ll feel better if I try harder, most I days I know it’s not true,” really spoke to me.
  20. Up the Wolves — The Mountain Goats: Up the Wolves has to do the work of representing all of The Sunset Tree because that album is like top five material for me. I picked this one partly because it’s also great lyrically, but mostly because I know my mom likes it.
  21. Gospel — The National: IWHTPJO. I really love The National. I went with this one partly because I love its simplicity and also I used in in this video I made at Emerson. I wasn’t super proud of the footage I shot so I made a really dope soundtrack for it where I weaved rainy day songs together along with other ambient sound effects. I’m not proud of that video but I am proud of the sound I mixed.
  22. Pills — New York Dolls: Like any self-respecting Queen/David Bowie/Velvet Underground fan I went through a bit of a glam rock phase, so naturally I listened to the New York Dolls. I really only got into this one album, but I’ve always been meaning to listen to their other ones. I went with this song because it rocks and also because I like the lyrics.
  23. Oldie — Odd Future: This is another sophomore year of college one. For some reason a lot of music is associated with that year for me. But yeah this was another one my friends and I would sit in a circle and listen to. Also if you’re an Odd Future fan this video is fun. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzi24Nssiow
  24. Money — Pink Floyd: This guy is doing the work of representing Dark Side of the Moon, because that’s another album that deserves to be listened to all the way through. This album was huge for me in high school because listening to it really loud kind of gives you the fun of doing drugs without actually doing drugs. Not that I was against doing drugs in high school. I just didn’t know where to get them.
  25. Somebody to Love — Queen: I love all the bands on this list, but I really fucking love Queen. I’m kind of currently going through a Queen phase, so under normal circumstances I probably could have narrowed it down to just one, but right now I decided I needed at least three. This one is on here both because I love it and also because when I was in high school and wished I had a boyfriend I would get all angsty and listen to this song.
  26. Don’t Stop Me Now — Queen: This song is kind of perfect to me. I love the way Freddie Mercury belts it like it’s of no effort whatsoever to him, and he does it a lot in this song. I also love what the piano does and how you can picture him playing just by listening to the song. I love the way the piano does the whole boop boopboop BEEP boop thing, and then the way Freddie Mercury breaks up the word “fahrenheit.” I could go on but it’s better to just listen to the song.
  27. Another One Bites the Dust — Queen: The beat of this one rocks so hard. My main memory associated with this one is that in sixth grade we had this movie project, where you made a short movie with a group of four or five other people. My friend made a horror movie about evil socks that go around killing people, and during the credits they played this song and had socks dancing. It was pretty dope.
  28. We’re On Our Way — Radical Face: Similar to A Little Help From My Friends by The Beatles and Make You Feel Better by the Red Hot Chili Peppers this is a great friends song.
  29. Bonzo Goes to Bitburg — Ramones: I really, really love this song. Partly because it reminds me of that great teaching montage in School of Rock (I wasn’t kidding when I said School of Rock was huge for me), but also just because it’s a great choice for a montage in general. It’s a great workout song for this reason; I listen to it while running or doing whatever you do on an elliptical and can imagine a world where I’m actually in shape. Or when I would listen to it while I was studying I could imagine myself getting a good grade or getting good comments back from the teacher. I know it sounds corny, but this song makes me feel like a better version of myself.
  30. Can’t Stop — Red Hot Chili Peppers: IWHTPJT. Fuck everyone, the Red Hot Chili Peppers are great. I got into them around the time Stadium Arcadium came out, so I started with that album and then kind of went backwards in time with them. This was also around the time I discovered youtube, so I watched a lot of their old videos before buying the albums. This song has a great video, and I remember feeling cool when I was able to reference it when talking to the cool kids. Or at least the people I thought were cool at the time: the cliquey angry nerds. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfOdWSiyWoc
  31. Aeroplane — Red Hot Chili Peppers: This one makes the list because I love it and also because I talked to an actually cool person about it. Well I mean we didn’t really talk about it we more started singing along at the same time and then made eye contact and nodded to each other while continuing to sing, right when it got to the second “it’s why aeroooplane.”
  32. Pon de Replay — Rihanna: This is one of those pop songs that make me love pop songs. I remember I heard it for the first time when I was in sixth grade, right when I was at the middle of my “I only listen to cool bands not that shit on the radio” phase. But I liked the song and I liked dancing to it with my friend so it became kind of a guilty pleasure song. It was on my guilty pleasure playlist with Fergalicious.
  33. It’s Only Rock n’ Roll (But I Like It) — The Rolling Stones: ITWHTPJO. I went with this song because it’s also the subject of a good joke in one of my favorite Simpsons episodes. In the one where Homer goes to Rock n Roll camp and Mick Jagger says, “Come on Homer, it’s only rock and roll,” and Homer says, “I know, but I like it.”
  34. Brave — Sara Bareilles: ITWHTPJO. I really love Sara Bareilles. This is kind of strange to say but I really didn’t listen to many female artists growing up. Love Song came out when I was in middle school and deep into internalized misogyny, so I didn’t like songs by women because I thought it wasn’t cool. There’s a lot to unpack there. Any way I went with Brave because I listen to it as a pump up song before job interviews.
  35. Simple Song — The Shins: My friend Kirsten and I were super into this song senior year of high school. I was in the middle of a huge Shins phase and I put it on a mix for her, and it kind of became an anthem for us. We’d belt it while driving around in her car in search of milkshakes or whatever it is we did.
  36. The Only Living Boy In New York — Simon & Garfunkel: IWHTPJO. I tried really hard to not let any of the Garden State soundtrack on here, but fuck it, that soundtrack is great and I really love this song. Separately from the movie I mean. Not that I dislike that movie, just that I feel like everyone has kind of outgrown it and it’s very dated, even though it came out less than 20 years ago. But this is one of those songs that cuts through everything and hits you in the heart, and it’s hard not to love songs like that.
  37. Crown on the Ground — Sleigh Bells: ITWHTPJO. This one is doing the work of representing all of Treats. Seeing Sleigh Bells live was one of the best concerts I’ve ever been to. This wasn’t so awesome, but this middle aged guy who seemed to be there with his daughter and her friends kept trying to dance really close to my friend Natalie and she successfully shrugged him off, but then he started doing it to me and before I even had the chance to shrug him off, Natalie turned around and said “SIR” in a way that made it clear he should fuck off before we find out what happens next. Natalie is great.
  38. This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody) — Talking Heads: IWHTPJO. I had heard of the Talking Heads but didn’t really get into them until I saw Stop Making Sense. Both that movie and the album rule. The Talking Heads don’t write a lot of love songs, but this is obviously the most popular/famous one. People joke about it being the hipster wedding song, but I kind of want this song somehow incorporated into my wedding. This is the only thought I’ve had about my possible future wedding, other than that the food is going to be pizza and I’ll probably have pie over cake. Ok I’m lying I also know that I’m going to wear old converse sneakers and I know what I want my dress to look like. But other than those four very specific things I haven’t put any thought into my possible wedding. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JccW-mLdNe0
  39. Blank Space — Taylor Swift: The video to this song is great. So great that for a brief moment it changed my opinion on Taylor Swift. But then she had to go and say something else stupid and remind me why I didn’t really like her. But like any living human I find Taylor Swift catchy, and therefore have a few of her albums on my iPod that I may or may not listen to sometimes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-ORhEE9VVg
  40. Experimental Film — They Might Be Giants: I’ve already referenced the sixth grade movie project in this post, but it’s coming up again because this is the song my group and I ran during the credits of our movie. I love this song for that and also because it reminds me of Homestar Runner. Props to anyone who remembers exactly what I’m talking about.
  41. All The World Is Green — Tom Waits: IWHTPJO. I was introduced to Tom Waits through one of my favorite teachers in high school. It was his favorite artist and he was a music theory and history teacher and he slipped Tom Waits in as often as he could. I’m not sure if this song counts as a love song, but if it does it might be my favorite love song.
  42. Hannah Hunt — Vampire Weekend: IWHTPJO. I was talking earlier about how I love songs with crazy dynamic shifts, and this song has a great dynamic moment like that. Vampire Weekend just makes me happy, it’s really as simple as that.
  43. Heroin — The Velvet Underground: This is another one of those songs that makes you feel like you’re on drugs while you’re listening to it. In a good way. The guitar part of this song fucking kills me.
  44. Jesus — The Velvet Underground: I grew up going to church every sunday, but this song is one of the only songs that makes me feel even slightly religious (other than of course some really great hymns. Where my “This is my father’s world” fans at?). This song belongs in a movie, I’m just not sure which one yet. I’ve imagined several scenes it could go in, but no full plot.
  45. I’ll Be Your Mirror — The Velvet Underground: Another great love song. One of the reasons I love this love song is because it isn’t necessarily about romantic love, and we need more of those types of love songs.
  46. Keep Fishin’ — Weezer: Another song with a GREAT video. I’m always a slut for muppets. This was one of the first song I learned how to play on guitar that wasn’t assigned by my teacher. Weezer is a great band for beginning guitarists because their songs are really simple yet great. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOIsYA1QDuk
  47. El Scorcho — Weezer: Love the riff on this one. In middle school I would get angsty and listen to this song while thinking about whoever I had a crush on at that particular moment.
  48. My Name Is Jonas — Weezer: All of the Weezer songs I picked are doing the work of representing the albums they come from, because they were all huge for me. This one makes the list because I needed a song to represent my love for 3/4 time.
  49. Substitute — The Who: IWHTPJO. The Who rock so hard. I love this song partly because it’s in School of Rock (I really wasn’t lying about how influential that movie was for me), but also just because it’s a great song. I love the lyric “I was born with a plastic spoon in my mouth.” Also the chords in the beginning/bridge are really catchy. This is a great running/exercise song too.
  50. Maps — Yeah Yeah Yeahs: IWHTPJO. I was late to the party with the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, but I’m so glad I eventually showed up. This whole album is great in a punk-y way. This song was one of the only songs I felt comfortable singing in front of people when playing the video game Rock Band.

Link to the playlist of 50: https://open.spotify.com/user/zm9000/playlist/0N0UKLaa2cdUffAyUZK5b0?si=BsHaHmofRHicT1JDOkU3hw

Link to the full playlist: https://open.spotify.com/user/zm9000/playlist/4w41CQHHrya33CJke1qikE?si=rXNxWR1ySGSPVmzYmop4Vw

Zoë Marissen

Written by

Just trying my best

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