An Indian-American 30 year old who was in the same batch as me, Merv. “Batches” are the same thing as classes, but here they call them batches. We did a project together and we made a cool website during training. We both browse /g/. If you don’t know what that is, that’s ok, it’s not important. He’s a laid-back dude who is really into classic movies, anime, RPGs, world history, programming of course, and he won the award for most valuable student in our batch. He was promoted to oversee us in the office we are now sitting in. He does mini lessons for other batches and accepted a job offer to be a trainer for batches. He also gets food delivered to him every night. Literally like every night because he’s getting paid a real salary so he can definitely afford it. There’s some passive aggressive stuff going on in that last sentence, but this whole thing is passive aggressive, really, so I’m gonna be frank about it. My other roommates got me to play league of legends with them, and ol’ Merv started telling us MOBAs (League and Dota) are like “coin flips” cause the win chance is 50/50, and about how league is pay-to-win, and about how his brother did nothing but play league all day, and he started to say things like “I don’t understand why you guys have to click so much during those games” and “I don’t get the hype for those tournaments, like why are the casters screaming during the fights, it doesn’t make sense” and those comments irked me because he was completely right. Dota and League are pretty much the most cancerous games someone can play, there is definitely a lot of money-sucking involved (he mentioned how the micro transactions are similar to mobile games), and yeah he let us all know he doesn’t like MOBAs and he made sense. So, I guess I’m too impressionable or I respect him too much or something but my interest in Dota started to drain after that.

A Black twenty-something who was done with the program, Steven. He was my point of contact when I was moving to Virginia and is overall a chill dude. He was the first one I shared a room with and he watched a lot of Netflix. A LOT of Netflix. He was done with training when I barely started it, and during staging he watched Netflix. I will later realize nothing is accomplished during staging. It’s a lot of waiting and interviewing. 40 hours a week of sitting in a room with your laptop in front of you, in business dress. He spent that time watching Netflix. And he would come back to the apartment and watch more Netflix. At one point he got into a drunken argument with another roommate and said anime is a waste of time, so the other roommate took it to heart and started watching Friends or something. The moment Steven moved out of our apartment, the affected roommate started watching anime again. Steven really likes chance the rapper and plays his music on his phone’s speakers all over the apartment. One night, as I was working on a programming assignment, I’m humming along to the music I’m listening to on my headphones and he politely asked me to stop humming because he was headed to bed. On another occasion, he also politely asked me to stop humming when we had guests over for a party. He hooked up with one of the asian girls living upstairs. He talks a lot, but he talks very slowly. He landed a job several weeks ago, but still drops by. Undoubtedly, this occurs after he has finished hooking up with the girl upstairs.

A 25 year old white dude, John. He brought a fight stick to play street fighter V and gets upset when he loses. I later found out he gets upset about losing at anything. He hits his desk a lot. He lived in Japan for a year and is fluent in Japanese. He watches a lot of anime. He watches a lot of youtube reaction videos in between his street fighter games and keeps a gallon of milk next to his gaming laptop. After a few beers, he is the type of guy that wants to arm wrestle or play mercy. After a few beers, I am the type of guy that can’t say no to a friendly invitation for a game. We played mercy and he bent the fuck out of my fingers and laughed when I pulled away. He video chats with his Japanese girlfriend and he speaks in Japanese to her.

A 24 year old Japanese-American. Out of all of my roommates, he’s probably the only one who I can stand. He likes to drink a lot, like even during the week. He also bought a vape pen and shares it with everybody. He is the guy who got me to try out League and we play together sometimes. He also talked to me about the depression he dealt with during college, and about the drugs he took to deal with his anxiety and depression and all that. He says he’s way better now. He’s really easy to talk to, and doesn’t seem quick to judge. His parents call him and he talks Japanese to them, but see that’s a little more authentic than John. This dude was probably raised speaking Japanese and English, whereas John is a fucking weeb. Anyways they were in a different batch than me, so they’re buddy-buddy.

Another white dude. I actually don’t remember his name because he rarely fucking talks. On the weekends he goes back to his mom’s house because he lives in this area. When I tried talking to him to see what he was into he said “ah, nothing really” and I kept prodding him about games and stuff but he said he wasn’t really into anything. I guess he just didn’t want to talk to me, so that’s alright. I literally can’t tell you anything about the dude other than that.

Most recently moved in roommate is from my hometown and is in the twin bed a few feet over from me right now. Homeboy never takes off his Beats earbuds. Only time I ever talked to him was when he first arrived to answer any questions he had. You’d think we’d have a lot to talk about being from the same city and all. When he’s in the apartment he has a hoodie on covering his face. I thought I was the quiet type. This dude has taken it to another level. I passed by the office he’s in one day and homeboy is sitting in the way back of the room, behind a table of two girls. I can only imagine what kind of shit this dude is thinking of during class. Every time I come into his view, it seems like he does everything in his power to not talk to me. I don’t really care, but it gets weird after a few weeks, especially since we share a room. When he’s in the apartment I only ever see him doing work, which is amicable.

I’m going to do me now, from the perspective of one of my roommates because it sounds like fun. 23 year old hispanic kid. He bought a bike the first few weeks he was here, and he dirties the carpet when he brings it in and makes a huge ruckus putting it on the balcony outside. He plays his guitar only when he’s alone in his room and attempts to sing. He smiles all the goddamn time. He hums too much. It’s as if he wants everyone to know he’s the happiest person alive. He takes super long showers in the morning but no one tells him anything because he’s probably jacking off. When we invite him to do stuff he always declines, so he probably doesn’t like us. All he does in the office is watch music videos. I sorta feel sorry for him because he probably wants to be one of those singer songwriter guys but doesn’t have the guts to actually do it, so he’s stuck doing web development. Anyways, he’s the only one that does the dishes and throws out the trash and he made cookies for everyone once so I guess it evens out.

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