When the first stentorian blast of the apocalyptic trumpet that marks the beginning of the End of Days is heard round the world, as hail, fire, and blood rain down on earth (apparently fire can rain down because, you know, apocalypse), the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse will already be on their way to deliver some Very Bad News to the Very Wretched People of Earth. This Very Bad News, the genuine opposite of Good News (which is what the word Gospel actually means), is that the moment has arrived in which everyone on earth has to die. There is something decidedly unjust about this. I mean, all the people of previous generations got to live out their lives, but those with the cruel misfortune of being born in the last generation, the real Gen-Z, pretty much got screwed. Imagine what a tragedy it would be if that trumpet blast were heard on the day before one’s twenty-first birthday — one day away from being able to get legally drunk, and heaven decides it’s time to take decisive action to the contrary.
The Four Horsemen each bring with them a special way to deliver death, riding together like Dorothy and Friends on the Yellow Brick Road, only this road leads to war, famine, pestilence, and death, and no one involved gives a crap about Toto. I’m not exactly clear why all four evil equestrians are needed. It seems to me that…
